


I Can't Dance

by CHRISpyCHEESus



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Card Games, Cat Cafe, Cats, Cussing, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Limbo, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Suggested Smut, Swearing, Tags to be added, i just needed to post this to stop myself from changing it, mention of Destiel - Freeform, mention of SPN fics, mention of monsta x, minsung - Freeform, past!Chanho, this is ongoing, undecided - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2020-05-13 05:42:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 26,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19244980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CHRISpyCHEESus/pseuds/CHRISpyCHEESus
Summary: Minho was always turning up drunk. Jisung wasn't sure what this boy was doing but after finding him for the fourth week in a row he couldn't help but take care of him.





	1. 5283

He felt a splash of cool liquid against his bare legs as he approached Minho who was shit faced, lying on the floor in the hall. He was swinging a mostly empty cup around mumbling to himself quietly, eyes closed. Jisung sighed as he bent down and took the cup from Minho’s hand setting it on the floor.

"Alright, come on." Jisung muttered as he wrapped his arms around Minhos waist. He helped him stand and they shuffled their way to the bathroom. Jisung hated doing this, but he knew if he didn't, he'd wake up to the sound of crying and dry heaving through his wall.

"Spit it out. Come on, let it out." Jisung quickly shoved two fingers down Minho’s throat to get him to throw up.

Third time in two weeks he'd been here in this exact same spot. Minho was still a wreck about something, but he wouldn't talk it out with Jisung. To be fair, they really didn’t know each other. Minho had never met Jisung when he was sober and Jisung always returned the other boy to his own dorm room next to his. For all Minho knew he was just getting better at being a drunk.

 

The first time Jisung found Minho plastered, he was crying in the grass outside of their dormitory. Jisung had called the dorms resident caretaker and that was that; or so Jisung thought. He kept weird hours with his current class schedule, making it normal to just be getting back to his dorm around midnight every night. He ran into Minho every time and every time Minho was drunk. He made it back into his room for the most part, Jisung knew because he could hear him through the wall, but occasionally he would find him sleeping just outside. _He isn’t my business,_ Jisung thought, that is, until Minho found him. He had somehow guessed the keycode to Jisung's room and let himself in. Jisung was startled, as he was changing, and having a drunk boy burst in and collapsed on his bed wasn’t a normal happening. He immediately fell asleep and Jisung was unsure what to do. He ended up taking Minho to his own room. That’s the first time Jisung was told the four digit number he’d soon memorize.

After two more weeks of finding Minho drunk and on his own, Jisung started to help the boy. He made sure Minho got home and didn't choke in his sleep. He would leave some aspirin and a glass of water on his night stand. He also left his trash can by his bed and a packet of ramen on the counter in his small kitchen.

 

Tonight was no exception. After Minho was done throwing up all he could, Jisung walked him to his room. The doors in the dorm all had keycodes. Minho had drunkenly keyed his in in front of Jisung enough times it was second nature to him, ‘5283 enter’. The lock clicked and Jisung dragged Minho inside. His room was dark, always dark, and Jisung immediately tripped on a loose pair of jeans in the middle of the floor. He barley caught himself as Minho leaned all his weight into Jisungs shoulder.

"Can you stop please" Minho was crying. His long black bangs covering his eyes. Jisung made it to the bed and let the boy down gently. Minho rarely talked to Jisung during these times. When he did it was usually tinged in anger about something Jisung had no idea about. He had also cried before but this; this was the first time Minho talked while crying.

"Please, stop. It's pointless. Just let me go." Jisungs heart felt heavy at the words. He wasn’t sure if Minho was addressing him or if he was dreaming.

"Why is it pointless to help you?" Jisung found himself asking.

"I'm too broken. I can’t be fixed. I'm worthless and useless and nothing can change that. I let everyone down. I deserve to rot away."

Jisungs skin crawled and his eyes widen as Minho spoke. He wasn’t expecting an answer and certainly nothing this alarming.

"Minho- it- it’s okay." Jisung reached out to the other boy who had started to sob so hard his whole body was shaking. He had curled into a tight ball, pulling his knees hard into his chest, his knuckles turning white from the force.

"H- hey relax okay?" Jisung placed his hand on Minhos and sat on the edge of his bed.

"Please breath Minho. You-u need to breathe." Jisung didn’t know what to say to the boy. He was never good at comforting others verbally. He took in a short breath and pulled Minho onto his lap. He rested Minho’s head on his thighs, stroked his hair with one hand, and rubbed his back with the other, back and forth in time with his own breathing. After Minho’s breathes calmed down Jisung absentmindedly played with the boys hair and hummed to himself. He always hummed the same thing, a little melody he thought up years ago.

"If you need someone to listen to you, or just someone to exist in the same space as you, I'm right next door, okay?" Jisung whispered. He could feel Minho readjust his head on his thighs not knowing if it was a nod in response or if he was just shifting in his sleep. He waited till he could hear light snoring before replacing his legs with a pillow and covering Minho with a blanket. He went to his own room, changed, grabbed a granola bar and fell on his bed. Just your average night here in the dorms. He drank a full glass of water then went to sleep.

 

~~~~~

 

There was a knock on the door. Jisung woke up and stared at the clock. Five am. He sighed to himself and rolled over. Whoever needed him at five am had to be a stranger. All of Jisung's friends knew his crazy schedule and not to bother him until after nine. Even then they texted him. Rarely did anyone knock on his door. So when the second light rap of knuckles against wood came Jisung was all but pissed at the persistence of the stranger.

"Wrong fucking room buddy." He yelled. He waited to hear the footsteps meaning the person had left, but non came. Instead the smallest voice could be heard through the door.

"I'm sorry, I just, I wanted to thank you, and I'm sorry. I'm just really sorry. But I won't bother you anymore."

Jisung shot out of bed and yanked the door open just in time to hear the lock on Minho’s door click back into place. _Shit_. He thought. He padded over to the boys door, about to knock before pausing. He looked down at his raggedy old white t-shirt and boxers, thinking he should go change first, when the door opened and there stood Minho. He was dressed in casual clothing, all blacks and stripes except for his cat print socks. Jisung dropped his hand that was still posed to knock and instinctively bowed.

"Sorry for yelling, I'm not a morning person. This is my peak sleep time so I get a little angry when disturbed." Jisung straightened back up and looked Minho in the eye. He looked emotionless; like a blank slate waiting to be filled.

"Its okay, I won't bother you again. I just wanted to say thank you for last night." Minhos voice was monotone.

"It was no problem. And bother me any time. It’s nice to have some variety in life, you know?"

Minho looked at Jisung with curiosity. "Variety in life?"

"I'm not the best with words but you get the gist right?" Jisung rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Um, yeah. I think so." Minho said. They stood there for a second, neither of them moving.

"Okay, so I'm going back to bed. Enjoy your day Minho." Jisung waved and went to his door, punching in his keycode.

"How do you know my name? And how do you know the code for my dorm room?"

Jisung paused and looked over at Minho who had put on his shoes and was standing in front of his door.

"You told me."

"When?" Minho stared back.

"About two months ago."

"I've known you for two months?" Minho asked, a tinge of sadness creeping into his voice.

Jisung felt taken aback. Did the boy really not remember anything from when he was drunk? And if that's the case why remember last night?

"I- I mean, we've kind of spoken every now and then for the past three months..." Minho’s eyes turned to unseeing glass as he listened to Jisung’s words, his voice going somber.

"Three months. You've been helping me for three months."

It wasn’t a question more than a statement. Jisung kept quiet and stared at the ground, his heart aching in his chest at the disappointment in Minho’s voice.

"I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. That's not something you should have been doing. I thought the dorms caretaker was doing it all, not that he should have to put up with me either." Minho ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"Its fine, you aren't too much trouble and I wasn’t as much help as you'd think." Jisung replied sheepishly.

Minho looked at Jisung who's eyes were still glued to the floor. Before Jisung knew it Minho had him in a tight hug. He held it for what felt like twenty minutes but was only five seconds. He knew because Minho was softly counting the seconds out loud, "one, two, three, four, five" before he let go and walked down the hall, around the corner and out of sight. Jisung went back into his room and crawled into bed. He could still feel Minho’s arms around him.


	2. Drowsy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung awakes sick and late. He makes it to classes but after lunch things are bit blurry.

Jisung woke up late for class, his throat aching with every breath. He quickly got dressed, grabbed his stuff, tossed on a mask, and ran. He sleep walked his way through his morning classes then met up with Seungmin for lunch who, thankfully, had some cold medicine. him and Jisung went to the same high school back in the day and ended up attending the same university. He was Jisung's best friend along with Felix, who had transferred in from Australia. The boys shared science and writing classes. They were also in the same clubs and spent the weekends hanging out studying or going to the river that was nearby. Felix never joined them for lunch though, opting to spend that time with his Boyfriend, Binnie, so it was always just Jisung and Seungmin.

“It’s all those night classes messing with your sleep pattern. You wouldn’t get this sick if you’d go to bed at a normal time.” Seungmin said as he dug into the Chinese food.

“I haven’t really been eating properly, but I plan to go shopping later… or tomorrow.” Jisung yawned. His whole body screamed to lay down. He was practically melting into the table. Seungmin stopped eating and pulled out the little box of cold medicine, examining the contents.

“Hey, Sungie. Which color of pill did you take, the orange or blue?”

“I don’t know, blue I think?” Jinsung muttered as he rested his head on his crossed arms.

“Shit Sungie. Pay attention to what you’re doing. That was the night time stuff. It’s supposed to knock you out.”

“You don’t say.” Jisung breathed before falling asleep, food still untouched in front of him.

 

~~~~~

 

Jisung woke up with cotton mouth and in his bed. He checked his phone to find a text from Seungmin. He had emailed Jisungs teachers to let them know he was sick and wouldn’t be attending class today. He also got Jisung soup, a few groceries, and left some of the night time pills to be taken after he ate. Jisung chugged a whole glass of water, heated up a cup of soup and settled in with his textbook for World History. He knew he had to get through a few chapters before class tomorrow or he’d get too far behind.

After an hour of reading, muffled sounds of furniture being moved broke his concentration. _I’m not getting anywhere anyway,_ he thought to himself. He closed the book and laid back on his pillows. His nose was so stuffed he had become a mouth breather. Jisung hated mouth breathers. He sat up and took the medicine Seungmin left him as a huge thump came from the other side of the wall.

“Hey now. Don’t be trying to expand your room. This is my space and I am not keen on sharing.” Jisung yelled. He sounded horrible; voice all scratchy and nasally. The noise stopped and Jisung laughed at himself before closing his eyes and welcoming some much needed sleep. Just before losing consciousness, he heard a light rap of knuckles against wood; someone knocking.

 

~~~~~

 

Jisung woke up at two am feeling better than he had in a long time. He got up, drank more water and then headed for the  dorm showers. He was just finishing up when he heard a familiar sound from the next stall over. It was the song he had a habit of humming. It was easily recognized as he himself made it up and only a handful of people have heard him hum it. He walked confidently over to the shower stall and ripped back the curtain to surprise his friend.

“Shark attack!” Jisung yelled.

It wasn’t Felix. He thought it was Felix, but alas, it wasn’t and now, now Jisung was standing stark ass naked in front of a stark ass naked Minho with soap in his hair who had nearly slipped at the sudden intrusion. Jisung stood there mortified before bowing in apology. He noticed Minho had a large scar running from his ankle to his knee with scarred dots running up either side. He quickly grabbed the curtain and flung it closed.

“I’m sorry wrong shower singer. I thought I heard my friend humming in here; he loves three am showers.”

There was a short pause before Minho replied, “It’s two am. Try back in an hour".

Jisung blinked a few times. _Minho making jokes? Minho sober and making jokes?_ He thought. 

“He sometimes comes in here at two. You know to keep a little variety in life and a- all that.” Jisung cursed himself for saying the same thing he had said to Minho just twenty-four hours ago. Minho was cackling on the other side of the curtain. The water was splashing in big waves getting the soap Minho was washing out of his hair all over Jisungs feet. _His shampoo smells really good._ Jisung shook the thought and went to wash off in the next shower over.

“Are you talking about the pretty boy?” Minho asked.

“Sorry?”

“The boy that emits sunshine and is covered in freckles.” Minho said as he turned off the water and walked over to Jisung still rinsing his feet.

“Oh, uh yeah. His name’s Felix.” Jisung turned off his shower and they left the showers together.

“He’s cute. Tiniest little hands. And the deepest voice. Never watches where he is going.”

“Yeah”,Jisung giggled, “He is a bit of a clutz but an amazing dancer. Universe is weird like that I guess.” Jisung smiled over at Minho who looked like all color had left his body. The towel around his waist even seemed to dim in brightness. _Did I say something wrong,_ Jisung thought.

“H- he’s one hell of a friend but don’t get him started on his boyfriend Binnie. He never stops talking about him and how he found his soulmate and all that shit.” Jisung chuckled a bit, but it was no use. The conversation was over. As if to punctuate this, Jisung’s cold started creeping its way back through his body making him feel all the fatigue of the past thirty minutes. He sneezed so hard he nearly dropped his towel. He stopped to adjust and when he looked up Minho had already gone into his room.

_Well, that’s that._

Jisung went into his own room got dressed in some fresh boxers and slid back into his bed. He took the last of the pills Seungmin left and drifted off once again, thinking of what he had said to make Minho close himself off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this jumped out. I left my doc in the middle of a sentence to be an adult and do adult things but I couldn't close the tab until I finished the sentence and now, 1,000 words later it's 1 am and I don't know what I have done. This thing is writing itself I swear. 
> 
> Please help me choose which club(s) the boys are in! Remember it has to be something Jisung, Seungmin, and Felix would be in. Also what majors should Jisung and Minho be pursuing? Let me know! 
> 
> Enjoy <3
> 
> P.S. all chapter are probably going to be this short. I have a hard time not changing details when writing so as soon as I am okay with a stopping point I try to post. It keeps me writing more instead of getting stuck on whether or not to mention the color of Minho's cat socks.


	3. Games, Animals, and SPN Fics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung is feeling much better and is back in class. It's also Jisung's turn to host game night, club activities are scheduled for Saturdays and Binnie is back to teasing Jisung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot stop thinking about this story while I am at work. So surprise, here's another chapter! This one is focused on Jisung and his friends rather than sad Minho (couldn't resist writing in some Changlix fluff).

It was eight am and Jisung was at the campus coffee shop sipping an iced americano before class. He had all of his notes spread out focused on his studies when Felix plopped down in the chair across from him.

“Hey bru, how you doing?”

“A lot better. I feel like I slept a whole year. How are you two?” Jisung asked as Binnie walked over with his and Felix’s drinks. Felix pulled him into his lap and pecked him on the cheek.

“We are wonderful as always, right Binnie?”

“Yup! We might even announce our engagement soon.” He whispered.

Felix jabbed him in the stomach and the two play fought for a few seconds, giggling like school girls. Jisung smiled at his friend. Felix was so happy and Jisung was so happy for him. He didn’t doubt the two would be together for a long time but, sceptical as he was about relationships, he gave them ten wonderful years together and not much more. He used to have a bet going with Seungmin about when they would have “the big break”, but they both felt it was wrong to bet on their friend’s future, so they put all bets aside and only talked about the time they would have together. How many dogs would they have, if they’d adopt kids, if they would live in the country or in the city. In the end both Seungmin and Jisung were single as could be and had way too much time on their hands.

After an hour of chatting and few more giggle inducing ‘fights’ everyone headed to their classes. Jisung sighed as he sat through his Business Ethics class. It wasn’t a boring class but it was broken into groups the first day and each group had to present case studies from the chapters. It was a hassle. Jisung liked how the instructor set the lessons up, but in reality she wasn’t teaching the class anything, she was just babysitting the class as everyone taught each other. Today’s discussion was of clear cutting large chunks of trees to reduce the possibilities of forest fires. He knew if he didn’t voice his opinion he wouldn’t get marks for the day, so Jisung spoke in favor of land maintenance instead of clear cutting. His comment easily shifting the attention of the class into talking about who was to be in charge of the forests and what regulations would need to be put in place. He saw the instructor put a check mark next to his name and sat back in his chair, grateful he didn’t have to keep up the argument. He hated arguing points.

 

~~~~~

 

“Midterms are next week and enrollment for next term opens for those of you who are year two students. The next round of Financial Statistics is listed on your syllabus. For you business majors you need to complete both this class and Financial Statistics for the Managerial World. Fit it into your schedule people!” The instructor barked as the class shuffled their way out.

Jisung grimaced at the thought of one more term with the old dog of an instructor, but knew he needed the class for his major. He still didn’t know what he wanted to do for his future, but having a working major listed was required, so he filled in Business Management. He figured the classes for the major would be useful whether he finished it or not, but they were so dry and the prerequisites were even worse. He was drowning in practical information.

He headed back to his dorm. The stat class was the last one of the day. It was two hours of pure boredom Monday through Thursday, nine pm to eleven pm, leaving him always making the trek back under the barely light street lamps. His phone dinged. It was Felix. Him, Binnie and Seungmin were headed over to Jisung’s dorm for game night. Game nights were held every Thursday night at midnight. No one had Friday classes or worked mornings so it was perfect. Each week they would alternate who’s place it was held at; this week was Jisung’s dorm, next week it would be Felix’s, then Binnie’s apartment and then Seungmin’s dorm the week after.

Everyone was already in Jisung’s room by the time he got there. They were clearing off his table and setting out the food they brought and the games they had chosen to play earlier that week.

“Who’s life is that messy. I mean come on be drunk in your own room.” Binnie was saying as Jisung entered the room.

“I found him fully clothed crying in the showers a few weeks ago.” Felix chimed in.

Jisung didn’t have to ask, he knew who they were talking about; Minho. He must have been outside when they got there. 

_I should go check on him._ Jisung thought.

“Sungie, come over and drink this tea I made. It should help with your sore throat.” Seungmin ushered Jisung to the table, breaking him out of his thoughts, and they settled in to eat. They chatted about their week and how crazy their instructors were being about midterms. After eating they broke out the first game. It was called Hokkaido, a map building game where the goal was to expand as big as possible. Jisung won. The next game was about settlers gathering the most supplies, which Seungmin won. The last game they played was a space game were they built ships and colonized planets; whoever colonized the most planets was the victor. Felix won that one with the help of Binnie who sacrificed his ships to stop Jisung and Seungmin from taking over.

By the time they finished it was three am and everyone was exhausted. Felix went to spend the night at Binnie’s place and Seungmin went to his own dorm, leaving Jisung alone in his room at last. He still wasn’t feeling great, the tea Seungmin had made helped but Jisung body still ached. He welcomed his cool sheets as he slipped into bed and tried to relax into a good night's sleep.

 

~~~~~

 

The weekend meant club activities. The boys were in a club called Helping Hands for a Better Future (HHBF) put together a decade before any of them even stepped foot on campus. It was meant to help better the community through outreach efforts and volunteer opportunities. Saturdays, or ‘Caturdays’ as Jisung and Binnie called them, brought everyone to the two rescue cafes a few blocks from the university. There the boys signed people in and served tea and food. The two cafes sat across the street from each other, one for dogs, which Felix and Seungmin manned, and one for cats, were Jisung and Binnie worked. They held special events for adoption, helped raise awareness of proper pet care and, most importantly, they get to hang out with a ton of animals. This was the highlight of Jisung’s week; being surrounded by cats. To keep things fun and competitive, the boys decided early on to challenge each other, cats vs dogs. Whoever got the most adoptions won a free meal and whoever had the most visitors won a free drink. Dogs always won the meal and cats always won the drink, but the boys kept up the shit talking for fun.

Most of Jisung’s day consisted of him checking people in and cleaning up any accidents. When the time came for his break, Jisung would spend his time with Trixie, a small calico that didn’t like to be touched much. He had found that if he sat towards the back, away from the customers, and acted indifferent to the tiny thing she would climb into his lap and snuggle up. Today was no exception. After a month of doing this same action Trixie didn’t even hesitate to run over to Jisung and climb in his lap. She still wasn’t too keen on being touched, but didn’t run away when Jisung tried. Instead she let out a low rumble, half growl half purr, and drug her claws into the fabric of his jeans.

“I don’t know how you got her to stay but she owns you now. When you leave here you better be prepared to take her with you.” The manager laughed as she walked by.

Jisung loved the woman. She was an old soul named Clairece who had put the shop together after her husband died. Her husband hated cats and Clairece found so much joy in filling their old house with as many as she could to curse the dirtbag. _That’s the sass I want to find in a partner_. He thought to himself as he pulled out his phone and finished reading the story he had started earlier that morning, Trixie fast asleep in his lap.

“You’re reading those again?” Binnie laughed as he leaned over Jisungs shoulder. Jisung jumped a little causing Trixie to make a quick get away.

“It’s none of your business what I read.” He said locking his phone and returning to the front desk. Binnie followed him.

“It’s Supernatural fanfic Sungie. I can judge you forever about that. Is that show even still going?”

“...Yeah… but I stopped watching after season eleven. It was getting too fan directed.” Jisung fidgeted with the flyers on the desk straightening them over and over.

“That’s really sad.”

“If you read the fics I read then you’d understand why I keep up with them. They focus on the men of letters and their backstories. The writers are really good, the fics have better plots than the show itself.”

“And Destiel is in everyone you read.” Binnie stared Jisung down, a smirk on his face. “You my friend, need to go on a real date and stop reading weird fics about angels and humans getting it on.”

“It’s not weird and they aren’t all about Destiel.”

“Uhuh, so, what was that you were just reading?”

“This one has Destiel in it but not all the SPN fics I read have Destiel!”

“As long as you’re not reading the ones where the family is in relationships together those are messed up.”

“Ew no. I have those blocked. That’s not the meaning of brotherly love I was looking for.” Jisung shuddered at the reminder of the one fic he regretted reading where Sam and Dean were a couple. The writer kept them as siblings and only tagged the work as ‘brotherly love’ and ‘fluff’. _Brotherly love my ass and since when did fluff include leather whips,_ Jisung thought as the scenes she depicted came back.

“Bleh.”

“Ahaha good. You’re not that much of a creep. I guess I can trust setting you up with one of my friends.” Binnie said as he refilled the hand sanitizer.

“No thanks, I’m good. I don’t have time for dating this term being full time and all.”

“Come on! It’s not like your taking the max amount of credits or anything.”

“Actually, I am.” Jisung stated. He felt proud at the surprise on Binnies face. Just shows how much the two pay attention to each other.

“Dang man, you are crazy. Well if you are up for a blind date next term let me know. I know a guy who loves SPN fanfics as much as you.”

“Okay, sure thing Binnie.”

By the end of the day things slowed down and the boys gathered out front to share their numbers. Like always the dog team won the meal and the cat team won the drinks. They bickered their way over to Binnie’s apartment to study for their midterms. Felix was giving Binnie a piggy back ride as Seungmin quizzed everyone on scientific terms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all like it so far. It's hard to stop adding to this one. I have a few requests I need to finish up but I keep coming back to this >.< oops.


	4. Thirsty Thursdays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midterms are over and the boys go out for drinks to celebrate. They plan on going out that weekend but Jisung finds himself on an adventure of his own.

It was the next Thursday and midterms were finally over. Seungmin, Felix, Binnie and Jisung decided to skip game night and go out for drinks instead. The first round was on Felix and Seungmin. After that it was pay for your own. They used to split tabs, but after two nights of unmonitored drinking and tabs reaching up to two hundred dollars they went to keeping track of their own separately. 

“We should go to beach this weekend.” Jisung suggested, leaning back against the bar.

He had been wanting to make the two hour drive to the ocean for months but it had been too cold till recently. 

“That’s a fall term activity Sungie. It’s Spring, we should hang by the river or go to the movies. There is that new Pokemon movie out and I want to go see it!” Seungmin said around a mouth full of mozzarella sticks. 

“Yeah, I wanted to go see that movie too. We should go tomorrow.” Felix said, and so it was decided.

Felix was actively playing Pokemon Go leaning his whole body on the bar, face hovering over his screen. He always played Pokemon Go whenever the boys went out. He spent the first ten minutes or so ‘catching them all’ before putting his phone away, picking up his beer and locking onto Binnie. Felix, being the light weight he was, spent his time in bars staring at Binnie like nothing else in the world existed. He would occasionally mutter how much he loved Binnie and how he couldn’t live without him. Every now and then he let out a deep sigh and leaned over to kiss his boyfriend. Binnie on the other hand spent his time gathering any single, cute boy nearby to introduce to Seungmin and Jisung. Seungmin ignored these ‘offerings’ and challenged Jisung to a drinking game instead. 

“Take a sip every time Felix says I love you.” Seungmin challenged.

“Take a sip when you see someone crying.” Jisung challenged back.

“Take a sip when you see someone wearing socks with sandals.” Seungmin scowled at a man walking past.

“Take a sip every time Binnie refers to us as ‘either of these fine boys’.”

“Take a sip every time Binnie says ‘yaa’ when we turn them down.” Seungmin laughed.

By beer number four they were well on their way to being as drunk as Felix, who was now sniffling and clutching to Binnie begging him to love him forever. Binnie was comforting the small boy as he paid their tabs. By the time they got to beer six Jisung noticed that Felix and Binnie had left and it was just him and Seungmin. His head was swimming and he still had an almost full glass in front of him.

“Hey, I’m about ready to go.” Seungmin yawned next to Jisung. He had finished his drink and paid his tab, just waiting on Jisung.

“Go.” Jisung sighed. “I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Seungmin yawned again. His eyes struggling to stay open.

“Yeah, I’ll finish this up and head home myself. Promise.”

“Okay. Text me when you get back to your dorm or I’ll wake you up to check you’re alive in the morning, early morning.” Seungmin playfully pushed Jisung before waving and leaving the bar. 

Jisung watched him leave taking two more gulps of beer. He didn’t want to drink it but he paid eight dollars for the thing so like hell he was going to waste it. He still had half a pint to power through. He asked for his tab and pulled out his phone, scrolling through fics, when Rush by Monsta X started playing. He started nodding his head and bouncing his shoulders. He loved this song and drunk Jisung loved to dance. He locked his phone and turned in his chair to watch the dance floor. 

“You want to dance?” A guy asked, leaning in close to Jisungs ear.

“Sure.” Jisung smiled. He slid his cell and wallet over to who he thought was Seungmin and followed the boy out to the dance floor.

 

~~~~~

 

“I’m on a beach. How the fuck am I on a beach.” Jisung sat up, his hands sinking into the warm sand. He looked out at the waves crashing into the shore. His head was pounding and the sun was too bright. He was still wearing the clothes from last night except his feet were bare. He looked side to side. No sign of his shoes. He checked his pockets no wallet, no phone. 

“Shit.” He breathed. He tried to remember his night. Last thing he could remember was Monsta X playing and a guy asking him to dance. That was it. No memory past that.  _ I handed my stuff to Seungmin...but didn’t he leave before that? Who did I give my stuff to? _   Jisung rubbed his temples and let his body fall back into the sand. His head immediately collided with something hard.

“Ow! What the fuck!?”

Jisung sat up and turned to look at who was talking. It was Minho. He was rolling in the sand rubbing his right temple where Jigung had pegged him with his own head. 

“Great, now I have a headache you asshole.”

Jisung was speechless. Why was he laying out on a sandy beach next to Minho? Why was his head so close to Minho’s? And more importantly Minho looked sober. 

“...Minho…?” 

“Yeah. What?” Minho sat up and turned toward Jisung, squinting. He was dressed in stripes and jeans and he was barefoot just like Jisung. 

“Minho… we are at a beach…” Jisung trailed off. His mind was struggling with all the information. He had a hangover. He missing his wallet, phone and shoes. He was somewhere on a beach and Minho was with him looking more sober than Jisung had ever seen him.

“Yeah. You wanted to go to the beach.” Mihno said. Stretching out his shoulders and looking around.

“I told you I wanted to go to the beach?” Jisung asked confused.

“You wouldn’t shut up about it till I brought you here.”

“You brought me to the beach?”

Minho stared at Jisung, taking in his confusion. “What’s the last thing you remember from last night?”

“Rush by Monsta X was playing and a boy asked me to dance…”

Minho sighed at the mention of the song. He rolled his head back and looked up into the sky. 

“Okay, come on.” He said as he stood and headed for the parking lot. “We’ll talk on the way back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm struggling keeping everything straight but I have a plan I promise, I say as I internally scream.


	5. Do I Really Want to Know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minho recaps the events that brought them to the beach on the two hour drive back home, but does Jisung want to know everything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said I had a plan? I lied. I don't know what I am doing anymore. But I hope you enjoy <3

Minho drove a beat up blue honda civic; the kind of car whose doors groaned when opened. He popped the trunk and rifled around as Jisung stood off to the side.

“Here.” Minho said. 

He tossed Jisung a water bottle before ducking back into the trunk. Jisung didn’t realize how thirsty he was till the bottle was in his hands. He took a few gulps as Minho finished grabbing his things and walked over to stand next to him.

“You’re phone died on the way out here but we can pick up a charger on the way back if you’d like.” Minho said as he handed Jisung his phone and wallet.

“Thanks.” 

Minho unlocked the car and sat to put his shoes on. Jisung opened his door to find his shoes on the floor under his seat along with his jacket and a bag of half eaten snacks.  Minho closed his door and started the car. He reached over and plugged the aux cord into his phone as Jisung climbed in and put on his shoes. 

“Any suggestions DJ Jisung?”

“DJ Jisung?” Jisung laughed.

“Hey, that’s what you called yourself as you blasted the playlist you made. You sang along for the entire first hour.”

Jisung leaned forward and put his head between his legs groaning.

“I didn’t. No, no, no.”

Minho laughed as he started the car and put on the playlist.

“You weren’t bad. Just not what I was expecting. Your lecture on the last hour of the drive was more up your alley in my opinion.”

“No.” Jisung shot up and stared at Minho, eyes wide with shock. “Oh god what did I lecture you about? Wait, is this the playlist I put together? Did I get mad because you didn’t sing too? I do that.”

“First let’s get more water and a phone charger for you.” 

Minho backed out of the spot and headed to a tiny gas station at the end of the road. There Minho filled the tank as Jisung grabbed snacks, water and a twelve dollar phone charger. All of which Minho paid for. 

“I’ll pay you back. This charger is stupid expensive.” Jisung said as they climbed back in the car.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve done plenty for me these past few months. A phone charger is the least I could do.”

“But you also brought me to the beach…. Can you explain how we got here?” Jisung asked cracking another bottle of water and downing a few gulps with the aspirin they had bought. 

Minho sighed. They pulled onto the highway and he set cruise control before he turned the music down and started talking.

“Where do you want to start; the bar, the dorms, the car, or the beach?”

“The bar I guess. That’s the last place I remember.” Jisung settled in for the long drive. He was ready to hear how exactly he had gotten where he did, with Minho of all people.

“Okay, so the bar. You’re friend left just as I had got there. You were sitting at the bar reading something about a demon named Dean who had just pushed some guy off a cliff or something.” Minho glanced over to see all color had left Jisungs face. “Sorry, I have a habit of reading over shoulders. Anyway, you started to wiggle around and kept bumping me as I was trying to order my drink. Then all of a sudden you hand me your stuff and tell me you’re going to be right back. I was going to just leave your stuff there but some shady people were in that bar and I didn’t want you to lose everything. You have been nothing but nice to me so I held onto it. You’re a good dancer by the way.”

“Aha, thanks. Drunk me loves dancing.”

“Well, after about eight minutes of drunk you dancing I saw you leave the bar alone. I followed you to give you your stuff back and you put your arm around me telling me you wanted to go to the beach. You said you wanted me to take you there and that you wouldn’t let me go until I did. I brought you back to your own room, kicking and screaming I might add, only to have you keep coming into my room. I tried to ignore you, thinking I could still sleep with you pacing lecturing about how great the beach was but you were so loud.”

Jisung was staring out the window taking it all in. He was embarrassed but there wasn’t anything to do but listen. He couldn’t change the fact that he was a loud drunk. He wished he wasn’t but he was. 

“It was the fourth or fifth time you came back into my room in swim shorts making seagull noises that I gave in and decided to take you. I made you change and we left.”

“When was that? When did we leave for the beach?”

“That was around two am I think. Everything was closed except the twenty-four hour stores and gas stations. Which, shopping with you drunk, was an experience.”

“Did we get kicked out of a store?”

“No, but you put on a show for the employees in the fruit section.”

“Wait, what?”

“You jumped up on an empty display and started singing along with the store music and thrusting the air. You gathered a small crowd of employees. I think they posted a video on YouTube.”

“Great.” Jisung sighed as Minho laughed hysterically.

“It was amazing. Once we got back in my car you took off your shoes and made a playlist. You sang for the first forty miles or so then Who are you by Sam Kim started playing and you got all philosophical on me.”

“That’s a great song.”

“Oh I know. You turned it down to ask me who I was and what my deal was with all the drinking. Which made me realize I still wasn’t sure what your name was and here I was already an hour away from the dorms with a strange drunk boy.”

Jisung looked over at Minho surprised and hurt. He couldn’t believe he had been so brazen with his questions. “You knew my name before this.”

“No. I had no idea who you were. I just knew you lived next door to me. I mean I saw your name on your licence when I checked your wallet at the beach but that was the first time I knew your name.” Minho gave Jisung a side glance. “Sorry about that. I have bad habits I’m still working on.”

“That’s fine. It’s not like you took anything.”

“Oh no, I just look. Shit like that would always piss my ex off though. He felt I couldn’t trust him because of it.”

_ Minho had an ex? Minho was gay? _ Jisung didn’t know why but he always assumed Minho was straight. As if sensing his thoughts Minho shook his head.

“Not gay, I’m bi. You asked me last night.”

Jisung blushed and nodded his head. 

“Hey no harm no foul. Nice to know someone else who’s bi though.” Minho smiled at Jisung.

“So I started asking you personal questions.” Jisung quickly asked. 

“Yeah. You asked why I drink and if it was because of a girl-”

“You don’t have to tell me this part if you don't want to. I shouldn't have asked in the first place. I’m sorry I got so personal with you.” Jisung said as he anxiously rubbed his hands up and down his thighs.

“We have a long drive ahead of us and I don’t mind…” Minho looked over at Jisung. “But, you know what, I’ll give you the spark notes. You asked personal questions about my drinking, my dating life and my scars. I answered them all knowing you wouldn’t remember much of what I was saying to you. At first I messed with you, I told you I got bit by a dinosaur and that’s why my leg is messed up. You believed me and I couldn’t help but push it more saying that I now have a robotic leg and technology was going to take over the world and I would be the leader.”

“That is one of my biggest fears how could you.” Jisung looked at Minho in disgust.

“Yeah, we had to pull over for that one. You wouldn’t stop screaming at me. Took me a good thirty minutes to get you to get back in the car.”

“I’m surprised I did.”

“I told you I would power off my leg and leave it behind.”

Jisung shook his head and looked at Minho incredulously. “What? How would that even work?”

“Drunk you didn’t see anything wrong with that solution and got back in the car and that’s all that matters. Once we got to the beach I took your stuff because I was unsure if you were a run in the water kind of person or not. Turns out you are the hold my pants so I can get my feet wet kind of guy.”

“Fuck me I handed you my pants and bowed didn’t I.”

Minho was cackling behind the wheel. “You skipped to the water and made the weirdest noises as the waves came up and splashed your feet.”

“Gahhh. When did we get to the beach?”

“I think it was around five am? Sunrise was like an hour after we got there. You splashed around for a few minutes then put your pants back on and laid down to stare at the sky. You told me to join you or you’d pin me to the sand yourself.” Minho was still laughing under his breath. 

Jisung felt as if he had aged a good twenty years while listening to everything. His phone, that had been charging in the middle console, erupted with dings as they got back into cell service. Jisung had six missed calls, four voicemails and eighty-four texts. Most of the texts were from Binnie, threatening to kill him if he didn’t pick up his phone. The voicemails were all Seungmin, except one from a scared sounding Felix. Jisung sighed and quickly replied to everyone in their group chat, explaining that he was fine and with a friend and that he would be back soon. Binnie quickly shot back a text that said ‘Seungmin take note, Sungie out here gettin some while you’re hungover at home alone’ causing a text fight between the two. Jisung laughed at how easily they fought about nothing.

“Everything all good?” Minho asked.

“Yeah they think I went out and got laid so now they’re fighting.” Jisung laughed then froze. 

“Oh you got laid, laid out by your own stupidity as you ran full speed up and down the shore yelling about how beautiful the sunrise was.”

“Of course I did. That does sound like me.” Jisung relaxed. 

It wasn’t something he was truly worried about but it wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have with a good forty five minutes still left in the drive. They were quiet for awhile, the music had stopped and no one went to play anything else. The silence was nice for Jisung who was working through his thoughts and all the events that had happened. Without realizing it he started humming.

“Okay what is that song? It has been stuck in my head for weeks now.” Minho asked.

“It’s nothing. It’s just something I made up a long time ago.”

“You just made it up? I swear I have heard it before.”

“I hummed it to you a few weeks ago when I was trying to help you sleep.” Jisung couldn’t believe he said that out loud.

“Well I like it. It’s relaxing. Do you mind if I hum it?”

“No, not at all.” Jisung replied. They went back to silence both humming quietly the tune that Jisung had created.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah.... There it is. Jisung being a mess kind of took over but we will be getting to Minho and his past soon. I promise.  
> Jisung still needs to work some things out and I think a special guest might stop by... we'll see.


	6. Spring Term Stress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung is swamped with class work and hasn't seen Minho since the beach trip. He has to keep canceling on game nights but ends up making a new friend while in the library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE!

Minho and Jisung hadn’t talked since that weekend. Jisung’s class work seemed to have doubled after midterms and he stopped finding Minho in the halls. He still needed to decide his schedule for fall term and what courses to take during summer. He was spiraling, his anxiety of failure and the stress of taking on too much work hitting him all at once. He was burnt out. Jisung opened the group chat and let everyone know he couldn’t make it to game night, again. This would be the second week in a row he had to cancel. Everyone understood and wished him luck with his studies. Only Felix gave him hell for canceling again.

He silenced his phone and went to study in the library, hoping a change of scenery would help relax him. He found a table in the back and got to studying. He spread out all of his course work in sections. Then, ripping off a piece of notebook paper, he made an hour by hour study plan for the evening. He tackled World History first, he needed to type up a twelve page paper about some great war by tomorrow.

“You work fast.”

Jisung took out an earbud to look over to the table next to his. There sat a broad shouldered blonde boy with a binder and laptop. Jisung didn’t even notice when the other boy got there. He had been working for three hours and had finished a paper, just doing a final check on his sources before printing.

“You work really fast. Fourteen page paper in just a couple of hours. I wish I could do that.”

“Oh, yeah, I kind of obsess till it’s done.” Jisung said turning back to his laptop.

“Due tomorrow, huh?”

“No, next week actually.” Jisung said sheepishly. He had a paper due for the same class tomorrow but he wasn’t motivated to type that one out tonight. Instead he got a jump start on draft one of his term paper.

“You’re fucking kidding me. You are ahead in your classes that much?!” The boy slammed his hands on the table causing a myriad of shushes to come from the stacks of books around them.

“I’m not really. I do have a paper due tomorrow just not the one I am working on.” Jisung replied as the boy walked over to his table. He started going through Jisungs books and picked up his study schedule.

“World History, Business Ethics, Financial statistics, with Dowry? Oof. That man is a dog. And you’re taking Taxation of Individual Corporations? And Advance Business Spreadsheet Applications? And Organizational Behavior?! Ew dude, what is up with this schedule?”

“Yeah I know, I am trying to get everything done in one go. I can’t tell you how many instructors I had to convince to enroll me in their courses.”

“Dude, you are killing yourself. This isn’t healthy.”

Jisung took a deep breathe. He didn’t know what to say to the stranger. He was right. Jisung was ready to quit everything and walk out into the ocean and never come back.

“Names Chan.” the boy said as he grabbed his stuff and made room at Jisung’s table to join him.

“Oh, actually I really need to focus-”

“Relax. We have the same teacher for Business Ethics, I am in the evening class is all. Thought I could help. Also, when someone introduces themselves, the polite thing to do is introduce yourself back.” Chan smirked at Jisung.

“Right, sorry. Jisung.”

“Nice to meet you Jisung. So, according to your study plan, its Business Ethics powerpoint time. What case study did you get assigned?”

Chan and Jisung had different case studies but they were still able to help each other use the terminology from the chapter. It was three am before Jisung decided to go back to his dorm and get some rest.

“Here.” Chan wrote his number out on the corner of Jisungs notebook. “Text me if you want to study together again. You helped me a lot with working in extra terminology and talking points.”

“I will. You also helped me a ton. Feel free to text me too.” Jisung entered Chan’s number in his phone and sent him a ‘sup’ text so he’d have his number too.

“Will do. See you around Jisung.”

“See ya Chan.”

 

~~~~~

 

Jisung’s phone dinged in the middle of his Organizational Behavior class. The instructor didn’t care about phones being out during lecture so no one put them on silent. Today everyone was wandering around the room texting friends while stopping at different signs taped to the wall. They had all taken the Myers Briggs Type Indicator test to help better define their underlying habits. Jisung walked over to a sign that said ‘PERFECTIONISTS’ in bold straight print and took a seat. He checked his phone as the instructor went around asking how this trait would be a pro and con in the workplace. It was a message from Chan.

They had been texting back and forth for a few weeks. The end of Spring term was coming up fast and Chan had started making memes to countdown the days. Today he sent a picture of Dean Winchester dramatically looking over his shoulder with the words ‘9 DAYS LEFT TILL FREEDOM’ across the bottom. Jisung giggled to himself and saved the picture. He shared all the countdown memes in the group chat with Seungmin, Felix and Binnie. They loved them as much as he did and constantly questioned his source.

After class Jisung and Seungmin ran to the small sushi place near the university for lunch. They had never been there before, the place looking to fancy from the outside, but after googling the menu, Seungmin was dead set on trying as many things as possible.

Inside, the restaurant was just as nice as the outside. There was a bar off to the left outlined with blue neon lights; each sake bottle assigned their own glowing backdrop on a glass shelf. The whole place looked like somewhere you’d bring your significant other and their parents or a place that launders money in the back or both.

“Let’s sit at the sushi bar.” Seungmin said as a hostess approached.

“Sounds good to me.” Jisung said, still taking in the decor.

Jisungs phone dinged a few times as they were seated and he took it out turning it to silent. Seungmin ordered five rolls and a small warm sake sampler, all to share. He watched the sushi chef as Jisung checked his messages and laughed.

“It’s him again isn’t it?” Seungmin leaned over to look at Jisungs phone. Chan was sending meme after meme of his instructor. Jisung didn’t know the man, but he couldn’t help laughing at the perfect timing of each picture. Chan was a genius.

“Oh my god, can you too date already? Seriously Jisung, you guys have been flirting with each other for weeks now.” Seungmin laughed as the chef cleared his throat.

“We aren’t flirting Seungmin. We are simply friends.”

Seungmin shot Jisung his best ‘oh really’ look.

“Hey, people still think we are dating. You flirt with me all the time.”

“No I don’t!?”

Jisung snapped a picture of Seungmin looking betrayed and sent it to Binnie and Felix, laughing even more as Seungmin started to pout.

“Oh come on, I had to. It was perfect timing!”

“Keep telling yourself that lover boy. Chan has changed you.”

The sushi chef suddenly dropped a metal pan. It clanked loudly, flinging sauce and rice up onto the counter in front of Seungmin and Jisung.

“Sorry.” The man said as he bent over to clean up. Another man came out and yelled at him, removing his hat and smacking the one cleaning on the back of the head. As he stood up Jisung realized why he recognized the voice; it was Minho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how involved Chan will be in the story in the future, whether he becomes a frequently visiting support character or just pops in when needed.
> 
> Then again, Changlix was only going to be a mention and here they are flaunting their love around every corner.
> 
> We'll see I guess! ^^


	7. What Can I Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung goes to Binnie after seeing Minho. He tries to ask for advice but doesn't know how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is what it feels like to rip out my own heart. I apologize in advance. It wasn't supposed to be like this but.... Prepare for some feels.

Jisung stared at Minho as he cleaned up the mess of sauces and rice. The other chef had taken over making their order and reassigned Minho to running for ingredients. Jisung couldn’t take his eyes off him as he went to and from the kitchen. He looked like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. His cheeks were sunken in and his chef jacket hung loose from his boney shoulders. He wouldn’t look at Jisung.

_I should ask if he’s okay_.

He quickly shook the thought. This was not the time or place to be asking personal questions. He didn’t want Minho to get scolded again. Seungmin didn’t seem to notice how distracted Jisung was. He talked about the food and sake and how wonderful everything was. He sent pictures to their group chat and everyone made plans to go there together after finals. Jisung blindly agreed, only able to focus on Minho. After the meal Jisung and Seungmin split the bill and went to leave. Jisung hung back, hoping to say goodbye to Minho before leaving himself, but he wasn’t coming back to the front after going to the kitchen. After a few minutes of waiting Jisung left.

 

~~~~~

 

It wasn’t until he got to his second afternoon class that Jisung realized he had left his phone at the restaurant. He borrowed a classmates to call and check if they had it before excusing himself to run over and pick it up. The restaurant was closed between two and five to prepare for the dinner rush so he did as the woman on the phone told him and went around back to the employee entrance. He heard some people talking and as he walked around the corner he saw it was Chan and Minho. Chan was yelling at Minho and pulling at his chef jacket.

“You say you’re fine but look at yourself! Fucking look at yourself Minnie!” Chan yelled as ripped Minho’s jacket.

Jisung shrunk back behind the corner unable to approach them but equally unable to look away. Minho’s collar bones were sharply protruding from his chest. Jisung could make out every rib on the boy. His breath caught in his throat. He had thought Minho was doing better, he hadn’t had to help him off the floor in weeks, but seeing him now, Jisung knew that wasn’t the case.

Chan shoved Minho against the bricks of the building. He hit hard, the sound echoing off the buildings around them. Minho was emotionless. It must have hurt to hit those bricks that hard but he didn’t show it.

“Why? Why won’t you let me in?! I want to help you! Please let me help you! Please Minnie, I don’t want to see you die. I don’t want to lose you.”

Chan was crying. His voice so broken Jisung’s heart ached. Minho turned towards the door, fixing his jacket and heading back inside.

“Minnie, please. I love you. I love you so much. Don’t walk away.” Chan pleaded.

“My break is over.” Minho said.

And just like that he left. Chan collapsed onto the gravel, head in hands full body sobbing. Jisung turned away and waited. It took some time before Chan stopped crying. He took a couple deep breaths and gathered himself before pushing off the wall and walking away. Jisung wasn’t sure what to do. He was confused about what he just saw.

_Chan loved Minho? Was Minho starving himself? Is Minho going to die? What is happening?_

A woman dressed in all black walked out of the back door holding Jisung’s phone. She was checking her watch, looking for him. Jisung ran over grabbed it and thanked her. After he had it in his hands he was unsure where to go or what to do. He ended up walking himself to Binnie’s. He sat on his couch looking at nothing still trying to process what he just saw.

“Dude what’s up? I haven’t seen you this pale since you tripped and accidentally groped that girl in the cafe a year ago.”

Binnie was sitting on his coffee table right in front of Jisung. Everyone else was in lectures and Jisung was happy to not be surrounded by questioning faces.

“I just…” Jisung trailed off. _How do I even explain this?_ He thought.

“Okay, let’s make this easy. Did something happen to you?”

“...No…”

“Did something happen to someone you know or a celebrity, or stranger?”

“Someone I know.”

"Family or friend?"

"Friend I guess."

“Did you have something to do with it?” Binnie straightened his back a little and tilted his head to the side.

“No.” Jisung shook his head.

“Is this something that you should get involved with?”

“I don’t know.”

“Would it help if you got involved?”

“I don’t know Binnie, it’s not that simple.” Jisung could feel a panic attack starting to form. He felt like he couldn’t get enough air, his breath stuttering.

“Okay, okay. Breathe Sungie. If you can’t fix it today then be calm about it. There is no need to stress about something you can’t change.”

“But I could change him… I think…” Jisungs eyebrows knitted together and his stomach turned. He should have been more concerned that he hadn’t seen Minho.

_I should have given him my number or checked up on him or something!_

Binnie reached forward and flicked Jisung’s forehead.

“Ow, Binnie that hurt.”

“Good. You need to relax. You can’t fix everything or everyone around you Sungie. Breath, take a day to find some peace with your thoughts and stop overworking yourself.”

“He’s overworking himself too…”

“Then take this guy with you to relax somewhere. It sounds like both of you need to talk about some things.”

“I don’t know him well enough. I can’t just walk up and ask him to talk to me about this and he works and I have to go back to class. I left all my stuff in my excel class and finals are coming up so I need to cram and I can’t fall behind more than I am or I’ll fail and have to retake courses-”

Binnie flicked him again.

“Stop overthinking everything. Make your list of what you need to finish today and stick to it. Everything else can wait. Your friend can wait. Right?” Binnie asked, leaning forward to look Jisung in the eye.

“I don’t know if he can…”

“If you aren’t sure then let’s go to him right now and I’ll help you explain your feelings.” Binnie said, grabbing Jisung’s hands.

“No, no, it's fine, you’re right. He made it this far he can make it a few more days.”

Binnie gave Jisung a once over and nodded, dropping his hands and leaning back on the table.

“Thanks for trying to help Binnie. I just don’t know how to explain…”

“Stop. You need to think if this guy is someone who wants help or not. Some people don’t want help and you can’t force it on them. Forcing your help will only result in you hurting yourself. I want you to remember that. Sometimes there isn’t anything you can do.”

“Okay.” Jisung nodded.

“Now, I hope this guy is someone you can help, but I want you to prepare yourself if it turns out he isn’t. I love you Sungie, and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Okay, I will. Thank you Binnie.” Jisung said with a shadow of a smile.

"Focus on your finals and we will talk again after you have a clear idea of what is happening."

Jisung hugged Binnie and headed back to the university, his head swimming as he grabbed his bags and rushed to the next lecture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry!!!!! I will try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible but I go back to work tomorrow and It's going to be a long week. I'm sorry to leave you all with this.


	8. Soup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was Saturday. The cafe was closed for renovations and Jisung found himself standing in front of Minho’s door.

“Okay tell me one more time.” Seungmin said. 

Jisung had went to Seungmin’s room after getting his stuff. He tried to focus on his studies but the image of Minho looking lifeless, pressed up against that brick wall, wouldn’t leave his mind. He ended up skipping the rest of his classes and laying on Seungmin’s floor in a panic.

“He drinks heavily. He doesn’t speak much. He is hiding his past. He looks like he is starving himself. Chan told him he loves him and doesn’t want to lose him. I think Chan is his overbearing ex but from the way Minho is maybe overbearing isn’t the right word maybe angel of an ex.”

“Okay. Make him soup.”

“You’re not listening to the important things I am saying!” Jisung sat up and shouted at Seungmin.

“I am listening. He is an alcoholic, but everytime I say talk to him about that you say you can’t just approach him; that you don’t know him well enough. When I tell you to talk to Chan about Minho you don’t say anything because I know you, you think that is a cop out and talking to Chan about Minho is the same as betraying Minho. So, the only option I see is if you make him some soup and offer to eat together to thank him for putting up with you on the beach trip and helping you study while slowly making your way to the more important things you want to ask him.” Seungmin was lying on his bed the whole time he was talking, looking at some political article on his phone.

“But what do I say after I thank him?” Jisung asked in the smallest voice. He knew Seungmin was right, but he was scared. 

“That is something you will have to figure out on your own. You need to figure out your main topics of concern and ascertain the possible outcomes of bringing them up.” Seungmin glanced at Jisung. “Sorry, final dissertation coming through.”

“It’s okay. I understand. I’ll let you get back to studying and I’ll think it over. Thanks.”

Jisung left Seungmin and walked around the campus for hours; going through his head over and over what he should ask Minho about. Setting up what he should ask first and what tone to ask it in. On Friday, Jisung was able to write out everything he wanted to talk about. With all of it out on paper he was able to finish two of his five finals and go shopping.

Now it was Saturday. He had fresh made soup in hand and was standing in front of Minho’s door. He quickly went through his talking points and took a deep breath before knocking. 

The door opened and a boy in a sweatshirt covered in cheeto dust stepped out. 

“What’s up? Can I help you?”

Jisung looked up and down the hall and back at the number on the door in front of him. This was Minho’s room. 

“Oh, um, I- I, is Minho here?” He stuttered.

“No, no Minho here man. You got the wrong room.” Jisung’s heart sank. 

“Are you sure? I’m the room next door, maybe he goes by a- a nickname or something?”

“Oh hey, nice to meet ya man, I’m Mark. And nah. If you’re looking for the last guy that was here I don’t know what to tell ya. I moved in a few weeks ago, like right after midterms.”

“Oh. I didn’t know I’m sorry. I’m Jisung it’s nice to meet you Mark.” He reached out and shook hands with Mark.

“Sorry I don’t know where you’re friend went. Usually if dorms open up it’s cause someone graduated or quit. Hope it’s the latter man.” He saluted and went back inside leaving Jisung wide eyed in the hall.

_ Did he drop out? Where does he live? How can I talk to him now? _

Jisung went back to his dorm and put the soup away. He sat on his bed, his mind a war zone with his thoughts of Minho. 

_ The sushi place. _ Jisung thought. 

 

~~~~~

 

Jisung had been sitting at the back of the sushi restaurant for hours. It was almost eleven pm before the employees started to file out and head home. He watched to see which way Minho went. He was the second to last one out. He leaned against the brick wall and slid down to sit in the gravel, pulling a bottle from his jacket. Everyone else was already rounding the corner, in their own worlds. Jisung walked over and stood in front of Minho who had cracked the bottle and was taking a swig. He looked up at Jisung, his eyes wet from the sting of the drink.  Jisung just stared down at him. Everything, all the words and questions he had prepared left him. He didn’t know what to say.

“You hungry?” Minho asked.

“Are you?” Jisung asked back. His tone sharper than he intended. 

“Starving.” Minho smirked.

He got up and started walking. Jisung fell into step beside him, grabbing the bottle from his hands and taking a long swig himself. He welcomed the liquid courage. It was going to be a long night.

 

~~~~~

 

“This soup is good. Add some more pepper next time and it will be perfect.” Minho was sitting at Jisung’s table. He was on his second bowl of soup while Jisung was on his third glass of sake. 

“Thanks. I’m glad you’re eating.” Not what Jisung wanted to start the night talking about. Then again nothing was going as planned. 

“I’m not starving myself you know.”

“You could have fooled me, and a few other folks.”

“‘Few other folks’?” Minho smiled up at Jisung making his heart skip. “Who are these ‘folks’ I should be apologizing to?” Minho laughed.

“Chan.” Jisung said. He was staring deadpan at Minho who had stopped eating and was just staring at the soup.

“I was worried you were going to say that. What has told you?”

“Nothing. I just- I saw you guys, t- talking the other day and-”

“You saw us fighting at the restaurant didn’t you?” Minho looked up at Jisung who quickly pursed his lips and nodded, looking down at his hands.

“That’s what our entire relationship was like. Him yelling at me to do better, to be better, or I’d die. We would fight, he would break up with me telling me he couldn’t be with me if I wouldn’t change, then he would come back and apologize. We were good for a year before the accident. But after I hurt myself, it was always that rollercoaster.”

“Can I ask what happened?” Jisung whispered.

“If you can look at me and ask, then yeah. It’s not a good story though.”

Jisung took a breath and looked Minho in the eye. “What happened to you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next update will be quick I promise. I just need to check some facts before publishing.


	9. Minho's Big Break

Minho pushed the soup aside and placed his forearms on the table, locking his hands together.

“I was a dancer. I had a crew. We were good. World of Dance regional finalist good. We had down time between performances and we were messing around, battling other crews. I was being cocky; we were told we’d be in the final three and I was showing off.” He paused. “Did you know they wax those floors before the show? The main stage they touch up after every couple of performances, people scuff it up or it gets dirty or what not. It’s fun to slide on when you know what you are doing. We were b-boying with another crew that hadn’t made the cut but were good friends of ours. I knew I could win if I did a backflip over my friend who was doing a headspin.” He leaned back in his chair. “I could win. Not we could win.” Minho laughed and looked down at his hands, his eyebrows knitting together. 

“Did you know the most common injury during a backflip is a broken wrist? When I slipped I tried catching myself knowing full well I’d break it. Instead my hand slid out from under me and my shoe caught a part they missed with the wax. The floor grabbed my shoe and my foot buckled. I broke almost all of the metatarsals in my foot. And if that wasn’t bad enough I also ended up shattering my fibula on one of the speakers. That was a year and a half ago? After two surgeries to reconstruct my fibula with a metal rod and about two and a half months in a boot, my foot was healed but I would need to go to physical therapy to walk normal again. It only took about two months before they threw me back into surgery to take out the metal rod and put my in a leg cast. After another two months the cast came off and I could walk without crutches. I thought this meant I could dance, even though my doctors said I wouldn’t be able to; at least not like I used to ever again. I took things too fast. Chan tried to get me to take things slow but I wanted to dance. My body ached for it. I went to the bar down the street and ended up getting a stress fracture. That sent me back into physical therapy for two more months. I kept going back to the bar to watch the dance floor though and that got me into my drinking habit. I am able to walk and go on short runs, but I can’t dance anymore.” Minho looked up at Jisung who was quietly taking it all in. 

“What I hate the most is that my crew had to withdraw from the competition. We had a chance to be on World of Dance, as a representative of this region, and my ego took that from everyone. I ruined everyone’s chances that year.”

The room went silent as Minho took a few deep breaths and poured himself a drink.

“Chan told me no one blamed me. But no one visited me after I quit physical therapy. He tried to get me to keep up with it, but it wasn’t going anywhere and after awhile we broke up. I love him but we just stopped being good for each other. I was frustrated. I couldn’t move the same. I couldn’t dance the way my body knew how to and I couldn’t keep up the fake hope. Chan doesn’t want to accept that I can’t dance and I do accept it.”

“No you don’t.” Jisung muttered without thinking.

“What?” Minho stared at Jisung.

“I-... If you gave it up, if you accepted that you couldn’t dance you wouldn’t be where you are.”

“And where is that?”

_ Fuck. I screwed up. What am I saying. _

“I- I mean, I- I- um, I don’t know. I don’t know you that well, but if you really accepted the idea you would never dance again you’d find something else and not drink about it.”

“You’re right. You don’t know me.” Minho said bluntly, a tinge of sadness to his voice.

“I’m sorry. It’s just…” Jisung closed his eyes.

_ Fuck it all he’s going to hate you anyway. _

“You are wallowing in your self pity for everyone to see instead of trying to fix your problems or make the best of your situation. Either you love to dance and would do anything to still live in that world, or you wanted this injury as an out, because you didn’t love it as much as you thought you did, but felt obligated to continue. You found the perfect reason to stop dancing that leaves the feeling of disappointment on your injury instead of on you for leaving dance. If you really love dance then nothing could make you leave. You’d teach or pick up a different style. You wouldn’t just give up like you have. Accept where you are in life and if you don’t like it figure out your options and fix it yourself.” Jisung rushed the words out as fast as he could before he could think about what he was saying. He waited for Minho to cuss him out, throw things, leave.

Jisung slowly opened his eyes after a few minutes of silence to see Minho contemplating what he had said. He had leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table. He was actually thinking Jisung’s words through, occasionally rubbing his chin, his brow furrowing. 

“No one has ever said that before.” Minho whispered.

“No one has verbally harassed you before?” Jisung breathed, trying to laugh off his words.

“No, no one has talked to me straight before. Everyone has always said ‘there’s a brighter future ahead’ or ‘keep it up and you can be how you once were’ or just said they loved me and tried to make me do things their way. No one has ever told me to accept where I am. I have always been looking at my past and the future everyone has told me is possible.” Minho looked up at Jisung, his eyes the clearest Jisung had ever seen them. “I haven’t been looking at where I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that's all the angst for this story but don't quote me on that.


	10. Minho's Apartment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2,000 words. Merry Half Christmas?
> 
> Sorry this took so long to update. I am working somethings out.

The drinks had caught up with Jisung all at once. He got up and went to the bathroom, leaving Minho to think. 

_Woah I drank more than I realized._

Jisung wobbled his way out of the bathroom. Minho was picking up the dishes from the table and bringing them to Jisung’s already full sink. 

“Oh, I’ll get those.” Jisung said, bumping into Minho as he tried to take the sponge from his hand. For how frail and skinny Minho was he sure felt solid. Minho grabbed Jisung’s elbow to steady him.

“It’s fine. This will help me think and it’s the least I can do for making you worry about me. I will clean up and get out of your hair so you can finish your finals.”

“Stay.”

Minho turned to look at Jisung who was just standing there, arms to his side, staring at him.

“Stay.” Minho repeated.

“Okay. I will.” 

“What? Oh shit, you’re drunk.”

“No we are drunk, but I am not that drunk, more tipsy, more free flowing. You know?”

“Yeah, sure.” Minho smiled. He was not drunk nor was he tipsy. A little buzzed maybe but that was all. He washed the dishes as Jisung stood next to him quietly watching him.

“Why are you so skinny?”

“Detox does not treat a body good.”

“What do you mean? You’re on drugs? In my room!?” Jisung reached forward and grabbed Minho’s arm with both hands leaning in close to stare into his eyes, drunkenly checking for dilated pupils.

“What? No. Jisung, I quit drinking, but I can’t just quit cold turkey so I only have a few sips here and there to keep my hands from shaking at work. My body isn’t too happy with me so keeping food down is hard. This is the most I have eaten in a while and not felt sick after.”

Minho put the last bowl on a dish towel to dry and turned off the water. Jisung puffed out his cheeks and nodded, walking over to his bed, grabbing his laptop as he went.

“Let’s watch a show. What do you like to watch?”

“I should go.” Jisung’s body tensed as he stared at Minho from the bed.

“Stay.”

Minho walked over to the door and Jisung was up in a flash. He stood between Minho and the door. 

“Stay was more of an order than a question.”

Minho doubled over in laughter. Jisung was dead serious and Minho couldn’t help finding his actions endearing. 

“I can’t stay here Jisung.” Minho’s eyes sparkled as he moved closer, “Not because I don’t want to, I have to go take care of my cats.”

Jisung started to put on his shoes and grabbed a jacket, putting his laptop on his table before grabbing his keys and the bottle from the table and turning back to Minho.

“Lead the way.”

“Lead the way… what? No, my apartment is a mess. You aren’t coming with-”

“You said cats. Either you take me to your apartment so I can pet these cats or I stalk you to your residence.”

 

~~~~~

 

Minho’s apartment was on the same block as Binnie’s although his was more run down. 

“Soonie, Doongie!” Minho called as Jisung closed the front door. Two cats, one all orange the other with a white belly and face, came bounding around the corner.

“Soonie is the orange tabby and Doongie is the one with the white face but be careful she doesn’t like being touched…” Minho trailed off as Jisung sprawled himself out on the floor, closing his eyes and keeping his breathing steady.

“What are you…” Before Minho could ask Doongie was on top of Jisung’s leg, walking the length of his body stopping on his chest and laying down. Minho jaw dropped. Doongie was a brat towards him and here she was fully trusting this stranger whom she just met. It took weeks for her to even be in the same room as Minho.

“What the fuck!?”

The cats both ran as Minho angrily dropped his keys into a dish by the door, glaring at Jisung still on the floor. Jisung was groaning, rubbing his chest and rolling around. Doongie had dug her claws through his thin t-shirt as she bolted from the room and it hurt like a bitch. 

“Sorry. She has just never trusted me that much and the fact she crawls on your chest the second you get here is annoying.” Minho walked into the small kitchen and left the half empty bottle of sake on the counter, taking out a couple water bottles.

Jisung sat up still rubbing his chest and took in Minho’s apartment. It was a stand alone studio apartment; only just bigger than the dorm rooms back on campus. The kitchen was to the left and there was a small round table pushed into the corner to the right. Minho’s bed was a futon pushed into the back right corner of the room, unmade. There was a small window above his nightstand and a cat tower at the end of the bed next to a tiny closet. Jisung could see Soonie and Doongie cuddling each other on the second level. Around a small corner was, what Jisung assumed, the bathroom; the door was closed. 

“I like it.” Jisung stated proudly as Minho walked the few steps to him.

“It’s a shitty studio apartment but it’s all I can afford.” Minho said. He walked over to the cat tower and ruffled Soonie’s fur, Doongie having jumped to the top level when he approached. 

“Why aren’t you in the dorms though?” Jisung asked as he wandered over and made Minho’s bed. He sat down towards the foot of the bed and leaned up against the wall.

“I was going to Uni on a full ride scholarship, but after not showing up to classes for a few weeks I got put on academic probation. When they came to talk to me about it they found out I had brought cats into the dorm and I had to leave or get ride of them.”

“Was it a dance scholarship?” Jisung asked sadly.

“Yeah.” Minho grabbed Soonie and sat up at the top of the bed, leaving a good gap between him and Jisung. 

“Wait, when did you bring cats into the dorm? I never noticed them.”

“The night before you yelled at me in the shower I found Soonie wandering behind the restaurant. She had been wandering around there for the past couple days so I figured she didn’t have a home and just tucked her in my jacket and snuck her in. Doongie was harder to sneak in, she was screaming the whole time. I found her while walking back from the bar, she was very underweight sitting in a box on the sidewalk.”

Doongie had moved back down to the second level of the cat tower and Minho started cooing at her to join them.

“Don’t.” Jisung looked away from Doongie and smiled at Minho. “Act like she doesn’t exist. She isn’t in this room and nothing she does will get your attention. Trust me.” He reached over and grabbed Soonie from Minho, pressing his face into her soft fluffy fur. They sat there quietly, Minho watching as Jisung wiggled his face into Soonies belly. Jisung glanced up to see Minho making a disgusted face at him.

“What? She’s really soft see?” Jisung held Soonie up to Minho, rubbing her on Minho’s face. “See?” Jisung said scooting closer to Minho as he returned the cat to his own cheek. 

Minho just smirked at Jisung and let out a few breathy laughs. Then he felt a small pressure on his leg.

“Don’t look at her.” Jisung said as Minho started to turn his head. He stopped and looked back at Jisung. Sitting this close together Jisung could see just how dark his eyes were. They were framed by impossibly long, straight lashes and sparkled the farther Doongie went up his leg. 

“She’s in my lap. Jisung she is laying down in my lap I want to pet her.”

“Don’t. I know it’s hard to not touch her but don’t pet her till she asks you to.”

“Okay. Hey, how do you know so much about cats?”

“I volunteer at a cat cafe that helps shelter cats get adopted.” Jisung answered. He had moved Soonie to his lap and was staring at Doongie, waiting for her to look up to Minho and flex her claws; signalling she was ready to be pet.

“Seriously? I never knew that. Is it the one down next to the college?”

“Yeah. Me and a friend work there on Saturdays.”

Minho was watching Doongie as well but upon hearing where Jisung worked he looked over to Soonie and started to absentmindedly pet Doongie. She hissed and bolted to the cat tower.

“Shit.” Minho held his hand where Doongie had scratched him. “She has the sharpest claws I swear.”

“Oh, I know!” Jisung said as he lifted his t-shirt to look at the scratch marks on his chest.

“We should clean those up so they don’t get infected and again, I’m sorry about that.” 

Minho got up and grabbed a first aid kit from his bathroom. He took out some cotton balls and rubbing alcohol. Jisung scooted to the side of the bed next to Minho and took off his shirt. He reached over and took an alcohol soaked cotton ball and began dabbing at the small scratches across his chest. It was hard to see them all and Minho noticed how much Jisung was struggling. He took the cotton ball from Jisung and started dabbing at the ones he had missed.

“Thanks, I can only pull my chin in so far.” Jisung laughed, his breath ruffling Minho’s hair. He could see blush creeping up Minho’s neck and turning his ears a bright red. Jisung smiled to himself.

 _His hair looks really soft._  

Without another thought Jisung closed his eyes and dropped his head so it was setting on top on Minho’s. He could feel Minho freeze beneath him but he was too busy smiling into his hair. He was right; it was really soft and smelled almost fruity. Minho slowly leaned away until Jisung sat back. He started to tend to his own wounds.

“Let me.” Jisung scooted off the bed to sit on the floor in front of Minho and took his scratched hand in his, dabbing at it with a new cotton ball while humming.

“You’re really touchy when you drink.” Minho said. Jisung smiled up at Minho but the happiness wasn’t returned. “Don’t get attached okay.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m like a stray cat. Don’t get attached and I won’t scratch you.”

“I don’t think you’d scratch me. Like you said, I am very good with cats.” Jisung smiled and cleaned up the first aid kit, leaving it on the kitchen counter as he slipped his shirt back on. He stood by the bed watching Doongie until he noticed Minho staring.

“Wanna watch a movie or something of are you just going to stare at me all night?”

“What does HHBF stand for?” Minho asked.

Jisung pulled at his shirt and looked down to see he was wearing his club shirt. 

“I have been trying to figure it out but all I can think is ‘Homemade Healthy Baby Food’.”

Jisung fell to the bed laughing.

“Why would I have a shirt with ‘Homemade Healthy Baby Food' written on it?”

“I don’t know. It’s all I could come up with.” Jisung was grabbing his stomach and kicking his legs out. “You know what, never mind. I don’t want to know.” Minho pouted.

Jisung rolled to his side jostling Minho with his giggle fit. Minho was tired of Jisung’s child like behavior and grabbed one of his pillows and started hitting Jisung’s side. Jisung reached up and grabbed the other pillow smacking Minho in the back still laughing. Minho tried grabbing his pillow but Jisung was too strong and his legs were still flailing about. Frustrated, Minho got up and straddled Jisung, laughing as he could finally land good hits.

“What’s going on?”

Jisung sat up and looked over to see Chan standing by the kitchen, a take out bag in his hand. Minho was out of breath as he removed himself from atop Jisung. He dropped the pillow and walked into the bathroom, closing the door and leaving Chan and Jisung alone in the tiny space with not even a single word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said I am working somethings out.  
> My work schedule keeps changing and three of my jobs are on hold till September so I am trying to find a new source of income. 
> 
> But mainly I have a boy popping back up in my life, crazy, I know. Minho's apartment is actually based on this boys apartment from when he was really struggling to make ends meet. Back when if I didn't pick up toilet paper he would have none. Heathen I swear. 
> 
> In other news, it being the Fourth of July tomorrow... or today since it's about 12:30am right now, I have some free time to write. I should have another chapter out within a few days. 
> 
> I would also love to thank all of you who have commented and left kudos. I AM ALMOST AT 1,000 HITS AND THAT BLOWS MY MIND LIKE THANK YOU SO MUCH! <3<3<3<3<3  
> You are all gods and goddesses I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> PS. about what I said with the angst being over... yeaaaahhh. Sorry about that I forgot I needed to clean up the Chanho relationship so Minsung can shine... just expect more to come >.<


	11. Chan's Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Jisung is bright red from both the drinks and the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you know how I said there would be angst? Lets say angst is the highway and I took the first exit I saw. This exit just so happened to be smut. whoops. It's just suggested.... Idk guys I need help.

Jisung and Chan sat at the tiny round table. Minho was still in the bathroom, having not answered when Chan knocked. Chan had slipped the food into the fridge and the bottle of sake sat between him and Jisung as they awkwardly asked how things were going. The small talk lasting for only a few minutes.

“So, you know Minho. You guys are close?” Chan said refilling his glass.

“Sorry I haven’t got back to you. Truth is I saw you guys arguing out back of the restaurant and I didn’t know how to talk to you.”

“You saw that huh? I was pretty dunk at that time.”

“Dude, it was like three in the afternoon.”

Chan nodded and drank his glass all in one shot. 

“Minho told me what went down between you two.”

“I figured. Otherwise you’d have more questions for me unless you are also....”

Jisung held still as Doongie walked beneath him, rubbing her body on his legs. Chan looked down at her and sighed.

“How long?”

“How long what?”

“How long have you guys been sleeping together?”

The sound of something plastic hitting the floor came from the bathroom. Jisung turned bright red and started quickly shaking his head.

“No, no. I think you have this all wrong. This is the first time I have been in Minho’s apartment and we are just f- friends.” Jisung stuttered. Were they just friends? Jisung had been staring at Minho’s lips since he sat on his bed and what about that little kiss he left on the top of his head when Minho was cleaning his scratches. Not to mention Jisung was not sure where that pillow fight was about to go with Minho pinning him to his bed.

“It’s fine. Not upset. Happy he has someone actually. Me and him aren’t together anymore and even though I am not letting him go I’m also not single right now.”

“Oh.” Jisung’s blush deepened on his cheeks. 

_ “Okay, Chan is not single but that is not the focus of the conversation. Focus Jisung, we need to clear the air about this situation he found you in.” _

“You know you’re saying that out loud right?” Chan smirked at Jisung, laughing as Jisungs face turned even more red, the color running down his neck and across his chest. “I see why Minho likes you. And you’re getting him to laugh so I approve.” Chan raised his voice so Minho could hear him. “Not that you need my approval. But I really just want us all to be friends, no benefits, I promise. I am not trying to initiate anything between all of us besides friendship. I came here to apologize and tell you me and Hyunjin are doing fine.” 

The bathroom door opened and a tired looking Minho threw himself onto his bed staring at the ceiling.

“Are you okay with all of that? Do you accept?”

“Mhm.” Minho mumbled.

“Great! So it’s settled. We all are having lunch together tomorrow.” Chan said smiling and drumming his fingers across the table. 

“Who’s we all I may ask? I mean If I may ask? And when did anyone bring up lunch?” Jisung yawned.

“I just thought of it! What do you say? Me, Hyunjin, you, and Minho. Did you want to invite the others too?” Chan’s eyes lit up. 

“You mean Seungmin, Felix and Binnie?”

“Yeah! Let’s do it! Jisung you be the middleman and start a group chat.”

Jisung hated being in charge of group chats but he knew he was the connecting point for everyone involved. Chan gave him Hyunjin’s number and slowly everyone but Minho was added.

“Minho what’s your number so I can add you.” Jisung asked.

Chan scoffed at Jisung. 

“You don’t have his number?!”

“No, I know. I was planning on getting it tonight when he mentioned he had cats and I got distracted.”

“Speaking of cats, Minho are you seeing this? Is this really your first time here Sungie? Were you her past owner or something?”

Chan was pointing to Doongie who had jumped on the table and was laying next to Jisung, her little paws hanging over the edge of the table brushing his arm.

“It’s bullshit.” Minho grumbled and rolled towards the wall.

“What did you do, drug the cat?” Chan laughed.

“No, I’m just really good with cats.” Jisung shrugged.

“Explains why you can handle him.” Chan nodded towards Minho who was flipping them off without turning around. Chan walked over and laid with his head against Minho’s back. “You fucking love me. I know you do.”

“That’s what got us in trouble in the first place. Now get off.” Chan didn’t move. Instead he pulled out his phone and waved at Jisung.

“Sungie come here, I want to show you something.”   


Jisung walked over to the bed. Chan pulled him down to lay next to him against Minho’s back and held his phone out as a video started to play.

“This is Minho’s favorite video right now.”

Jisung watched in horror as the video of him drunkenly singing amongst the fruit played. He could feel Minho’s body shake beneath him as he silently laughed. Jisung looked at the view count; it was just shy of one hundred thousand. He scowled and headbutted Minho as hard as he could.

“The fuck, don’t headbutt me beacuse you were being stupid.” Minho turned and pushed both the boys off of him. Jisung got on his knees and smacked Minho in the face with a pillow. 

“I can headbutt you as much as I please, you left me hanging in the middle of the store!”

Chan, who had rolled to the floor was cackling at the two of them. 

“You guys say you are just friends, but you’d make a wonderful couple.”

“Stop Chan.” Minho said as he sat up to glare at him. 

Jisung sat back on his feet looking between the two.

“He’s not me. He won’t try to change you. Right Sungie?” Chan and Minho both looked to Jisung. He clutched the pillow tight to his chest unsure what to say or how the conversation got here. He nodded.

“See? Me and Hyunjinie are better as your friends; nothing more. Sungie here won’t fuck around with you, I know, I have been talking to him for weeks. You will date him and be happy. Say it.”

Minho looked at Chan for a long time before sighing.

“You and Hyunjin tried to make it work with me but it didn’t. I’m glad you guys still have each other but that doesn’t mean that you get to choose who I date. I am not some pet you can control.”

Chan looked at Minho with a challenge in his eyes before pursing his lips and agreeing with Minho.

“You’re right, not anymore. It’s just force of habit, but I’ll stop.”

“I feel like I am missing something here…” Jisung looked between the two boys confused.   
  
_ Tried what?Not your pet anymore? _

“Chan is poly Jisung.” Minho said locking eyes with Jisung, waiting for it to click. Jisung furrowed his brow trying to remember what that meant. 

_ “Poly? All I can think is polly pockets and that has nothing to do with what we are talking about.” _

“Jisung, you’re doing it again.” Chan laughed. “I am polyamorous meaning I have more than one partner at a time.”

Jisung’s face burned and his breathing picked up as he immediately imagined all three of them together on the very bed they were sitting.

“Oh my god he’s going to pass out. Jisung breath.” Minho laughed as he grabbed Jisung’s shoulders and gently shook him.

“Y’all are out here having threesomes and I have been single since entering Uni how the fuck is this fair!” Jisung complained.

Chan died laughing on the floor. He was clutching his stomach, tears running down his face, laughing so hard he started coughing. Minho dropped his hands from Jisung’s shoulders and laid back, laughing himself. 

“We can change that right now if you want.” Chan said, having gathered himself enough to sit up and look into Jisung’s soul. Minho reached forward putting his arm across Jisung chest.

“Alright, alright. Chan go home. I want peace and quiet and there has been enough sharing for this entire month.” 

“Sungie you need to start that group chat before I leave.” Chan said, still holding eye contact, not blinking.

“I’ll do it right now, Jisung, phone.” Minho held his hand out. Jisung gave him his phone and Minho quickly added his number, messaging the time and place they were all to have lunch together. Chan sat on the floor, eyes locked with Jisungs, not letting him look away, a knowing smile stretching across his face. Jisung felt like he was actually on fire his face was so hot.

“Okay, done. Now leave.”

Minho waved his hands to disperse the sexual tension that was starting to gather around them. Chan shifted to kneel in front of Minho, his hands on Minho’s knees. He leaned in and kissed Minho on the lips before reaching over and pulling Jisung to him, kissing him on the cheek.

“Just ask if you’re interested.” Chan whispered into his ear.

“Chan, off the boy and leave.”

Chan laughed as he let Jisung go. He wiggled his fingers over his shoulder as a goodbye and walked out the door.

Jisung was too shocked to move. He pressed his hand over the spot Chan had kissed him. He was so confused. So much had happened in such a tiny space and in such a short amount of time. He lay back on the bed hugging the pillow tighter to his chest trying to calm his pounding heart.

“Yeah, Chan does that to you. That’s how I fell in love with that chaotic god of a man.” Minho said watching Jisung closely. He got up and grabbed one of the water bottles from his nightstand, taking a few sips before handing it to Jisung. “Drink some water, I’ll sleep on the floor so you can have the bed. It’s too late for you to go home alone and I don’t feel like walking you back to the dorms.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is. I have no idea how to not smut it up at this point. I also need to finish this fic before I go on vacation at the end of the month. Not that that is a hard set deadline. I just wanted a good time frame... I have lost my path on this fic so many times. Sorry if I leave out some important details, just let me know what you want to hear about most and I will try to include it. Really just writing off the top of my head here.
> 
> We reached 1,000 hits so fast I am speechless. Thank you thank you thank you!!!


	12. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung finds it hard to sleep. The next morning was a dream and the afternoon lunch brings more guests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added some last minute details while editing at 3 am so there might be more errors than normal. I might come back and clean it up or I might just leave it; depends on the extremity of the error. enjoy (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Jisung was laying on his back, still hugging the pillow. The lights were off and Minho was on the floor next to the bed with Soonie curled up on his pillow by his head. Jisung was nervous. He had to go to the bathroom and wasn’t sure how to navigate the foriegn space in the dark. He looked over the edge of the bed to see Minho lightly snoring, chest slowly rising and falling. He carefully crawled to the end of the bed, using the cat tower for balance as he cautiously stepped over Minho’s sleeping body. He shuffled forward, arms held out straight in front of him as he fumbled for the door to the bathroom. Once inside he contemplated turning on the light, but thought better of it as the light coming from the bottom of the door might wake Minho up. There was a street lamp just outside the bathroom window that light up everything just enough for Jisung to see. He did his business and contemplated how loud flushing would be. He decided he didn’t want to leave without doing so, so he reached forward and pushed down the tiny metal handle. 

“Shit.” Jisung breathed. 

This toilet was the loudest toilet in existence, he was sure of it. He was so startled with how loud it was that he took several steps backward, tripping over a pile of clothes and falling into the shower, ripping down the curtain. The door swung open and banged against the wall as Minho rushed into the bathroom, clicking on the light, his hair and shirt disheveled from sleep.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

He was staring at Jisung who was laying in the bathtub wrapped in the shower curtain, legs hanging over the edge. Minho looked up to see the metal rings still clinking together on the shower rod, then back down at Jisung. 

“Did you rip down my shower curtain?”

“I didn’t mean to. I tripped. I’m sorry.” Jisung retreated behind the curtain, pulling his legs into the bath and hiding as much of his embarrassment as possible.

“Why didn’t you turn the light on you dumbass?!”

“I didn’t want to wake you.”

Minho scoffed and reached down to help Jisung get untangled.

“I’m sorry.” Jisung said again as Minho tried, unsuccessfully, to hang the curtain back up. 

“It’s fine. I’ll just get a new one after lunch tomorrow.”

“I’ll buy it. I broke it I’ll buy it.”

Minho looked at him for a second before nodding his head.

“Okay. But you buy whichever one I chose.”

“Deal.”

Jisung washed his hands as Minho threw away the shower curtain and then they were both in bed again, Minho back on the floor and Jisung back on the bed. Minho fell asleep in no time while Jisung was wide awake. He forced himself to close his eyes and rolled over to face the wall, focusing on his breathing to try and fall asleep. After laying there for what felt like hours he heard Minho get up to use the bathroom. The door opened and Jisung felt the bed jostle. He felt his whole body tense as Minho climbed under the covers next to him. 

_ Is he making a move? Or did he forget I was here? _

Minho immediately fell back asleep. Jisung slowly looked over his shoulder to see he was only half covered with blankets. He rolled over and pulled the sheets up to fully cover him. Minho shifted and reached out, pulling Jisung to him. He snuggled himself close, tucking his face into Jisung’s neck. Jisung froze. His heart was beating so hard it shook his chest. He laid back, trying to put some space between him and Minho, but Minho just snuggled closer, his arm snaking around Jisung’s waist. 

“Um, M- Minho?” Jisung whispered. No response. 

“M-Min- nho?” He said a little louder. 

Minho nuzzled Jisungs neck and groaned in his sleep but didn’t wake up. Jisung wasn’t sure what to do. Minho may be underweight, but he was still very muscular. His biceps flexed to pull Jisung closer every time he moved. Jisung sighed and relaxed into the touch. He wasn’t going to get out of Minho’s arms without waking him so he accepted the situation and relaxed. He leaned his head against the top of Minho’s and let himself drift off to sleep.

 

~~~~~

 

“Hey, Over here!” Seungmin was waving his arms to get Jisung’s attention. Him and Minho walked over to the large table where Seungmin, Felix, Binnie, Chan, and who he assumed was Hyunjin were sitting. They were at an outdoor cafe, the table sat beneath a giant tree with a tray of sandwiches in the middle. Binnie got up and walked over to the two with purpose, getting right up in Minho’s face. 

“You gonna treat my boy right?”

“Um, yeah, we’re friends. Of course I will treat him right.” Minho said, his ears starting to turn red.

Based on the events of that morning ‘friends’ wasn’t necessarily the right word. Jisung had woke up and all he could think was how soft Minho’s lips looked. The thought crossed his mind for one second before his body moved to close the distance between them. Jisung pecked Minho on the lips, then felt he needed to commit if he was going to kiss him so he did it again, a little deeper this time. Minho kissed him back but after Jisung pulled away he just stared at him. The silence that followed was killing Jisung so he threw his arms up and said ‘good morning Minnie!’. They didn’t talk about the cuddling or the kiss all morning and Jisung thought that Minho just brushed it off as something Jisung did with everyone, but then as they were leaving Minho kissed Jisung. It wasn’t a gentle kiss either. Remembering it brought the heat back to Jisung’s cheeks. Binnie squinted at Minho, doing the ‘I’m watching you’ motion before sitting back down next to Felix. 

“Did you guys go shopping?” Chan asked nodding at the bags Jisung was carrying.

“Oh, yeah. I just needed a few things is all.” 

They ordered their drinks and took a seat at the table, everyone introducing themselves as Chan started clapping like a seal.

“Here comes my special guest!” Chan beamed as a tall, bear like boy approached the table. Hyunjin ran over and jumped into the boys arms giving him a sloppy kiss on the cheek before the boy turned and kissed him back. Everyone stopped what they were doing, sandwiches halfway to their mouths, drinks hovering above the table as the boy set Hyunjin down and walked over to give Chan a deep kiss on the lips. 

“Am I the only one very confused right now?” Seungmin asked as Hyunjin brought another chair over. 

“No I think we are all pretty confused.” Felix said, looking between the three.

“Chan, seriously. This is why you wanted to have lunch? To show off Woojin? Do you have any other surprise boyfriends?” Minho leaned back and folded his arms across his chest.

“Hello, I’m Woojin. Nice to meet you all and nice to see you again Chan.” The boy smiled and waved shyly. Minho nodded back at him.

“Hey now, I was going to tell you last night but you two were having a bit of fun so I didn’t want to steal Sungies thunder.”

Everyone turned to look at Jisung who had started to chug his iced coffee. 

“What kind of fun?” Binnie asked.

“He was helping me bond with one of my cats. That’s all.” Minho replied.

_ And then, after cuddling all night I gave Minho a good morning kiss. He then made me breakfast and I borrowed some of his clothes after a shower because he insisted we wash mine seen as I rolled all over his floor and bathroom. Then, as we were getting ready to go shopping Minho pinned me to the door and kissed me like I have never been kissed before and it took awhile for both of us to leave the house but here we are and now I can’t look him straight in the eye.  _ Jisung thought as he avoided Chan’s knowing gaze. He cleared his throat and looked up to see Binnie leaning forward on the table, watching him closely.

“Yup, Chan knows how Doongie is. She was scared of approaching you but I got her to sit on Minho’s lap and she was following me all morning.” He said fidgeting with his now empty glass. Binnie was smirking at him.

“All morning? So you spent the night-” 

“Are you playing Pokemon Go?” Felix interrupted, looked over to Woojin who had his phone out, the familiar game sounds could just be heard over the rest of the cafe noise.

“Yeah me and Chan are team Valor. We control most gyms in the area. Do you play?”

“Team Valor yes! I am too! Name’s Felix and this is my one and only Binnie.” Felix tapped Binnie to switch places with him so he could sit next to Chan. 

Jisung was so happy that stupid game existed and that Felix was obsessed. He was not ready to be under Binnie’s questioning. The server came and Seungmin started fidgeting with the hem of his shirt and gazing at him like a puppy. Jisung ordered another drink and watched as Binnie gave Seungmin pointers on how to ask the kid out. After a few hours everyone was the best of friends. Felix, Chan, and Woojin were wandered around the cafe catching Pokemon, Hyunjin and Minho were catching up, and Binnie was helping Seungmin get the number from their server, a skinny kid with braces named Jeongin. As they left Chan paid the bill for everyone, claiming he had a special coupon he’d been saving for an occasion. 

On the way home Jisung took Minho over to the rescue cafe to show him all the cute cats him and Binnie got to take care of. Minho promised to visit the cafe as much as he could over the summer, him and Clariece bonding immediately. Jisung walk with Minho back to his apartment to get his clothes they had washed. It was the Sunday before the last week which meant it was crunch time and Jisung had to go back home and finish his papers. Minho gave him a hug and there was an awkward pause before Jisung leaned in and kissed Minho. They said their goodbyes, promising to talk again about what all this was after finals were over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have plans to keep adding to this fic but it is also at a good stopping point? I did this thing where my original plot somehow went out of the window and here I am with a whole new plot that could get this thing to 20 chapters but it focuses more on Jisung's struggles. I don't know if I should add it as chapters here or start a new post and make them a series? I will figure it out but you'll have to give me some time.
> 
>  
> 
> (◕‿◕✿) Thank you to all of the readers out there for the support! Thank you to everyone who has left a comment, I read them all and they bring me such joy and motivation. I love you all and hope you are doing well! I will update as soon as I can!


	13. Chan Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of summer term is approaching and everyone has been doing amazing. Seungmin and Jeongin are happy, Felix and Changbin are doing just as well as the term before, Chan, Woojin, and Hyunjin seem to be okay even though no one is quite sure how they do what they do. Which leaves Minho and Jisung. They decided after finals that they liked each other. Minho is doing great and Jisung seems to be gathering secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super short but I figured it's better than the nothing I was giving you all. I'm sorry about that. I am back home from my vacation and eager to write again!

His breath was loud to his own ears as he sat motionless in front of his laptop, a blank word document open on the screen. The sound of joy and mischief could be heard coming from the living room as everyone wrestled and played video games, making the most of their summer. Jisung took in a breath and leaned forward rubbing his palms up and down his face. He had been sitting there for over an hour and still had nothing. He couldn’t focus. He missed the seclusion of his dorm room but he had forgotten to renew his forms for the summer and lost it. He had moved into Binnie’s extra room, much to Felix’s dismay. His phone started singing as his alarm for his afternoon class went off. Jisung closed his laptop and grabbed his bags, making sure to brush his teeth and fix his hair before leaving the room. 

“You out of here?” Seungmin laughed as Jeongin straddled him on the couch tickling him so Felix could win the game of Mario Kart. 

“Yeah, I’ll be back late so don’t wait up.”

“Bye!” Felix and Jeongin yelled.

Jisung stepped out of the apartment and turned away from the university. He walked half a mile into what they called the “rich bitch” district. Everything was over priced and tourist focused. He stepped into a speakeasy style bar and headed for the back, nodding at the bartender as he passed. No one knew Jisung worked here. No one knew Jisung had spread himself too thin and had dropped out of two of his classes. He couldn’t tell them he was spiralling because that meant he had to accept it himself and he was not ready to do that. 

“Afternoon, thanks for always showing up a bit early it really helps me out.”

“Not a problem Hyungwon, Count your till and get out of here.” Jisung said as he started drying the glasses from the dishwasher.

  


~~~~~

  


Jisung was wiping down the taps when he heard the bell dig at the front door. He set down the rag, adjusted his sleeves and turned to great the customer.

“Afternoon sir, H-what would you like to order?” Jisung stuttered. It was Chan. Chan was sitting at the bar in a suit. 

“Hmm,” he smiled. “Double shot of whiskey straight up with a coke backer.”

“Of course. Coming right up.” Jisung worked on muscle memory. He counted his pours perfectly and twisted the bottle in the showman way, placing the drink on a cocktail napkin and filling the coke backer just as smoothly before pushing both towards Chan. He did it all exactly as Shownu had taught him when he first got hired here the second week of term. 

“You sure know what you’re doing. How long have you worked here?” Chan smirked as he lifted the glass to his lips.

“How long have you known?”

“Just found out a week ago, wanted to make sure you weren’t secretly rich or dealing drugs.”

“Nope, just working an honest job. That drink is on the house,” Jisung leaned over the counter to look Chan in the eye, “if you promise to keep my secret.” He held Chan’s gaze for as long as he could while still looking professional. Chan chuckled to himself as he took another sip.

“Deal, if you don’t talk about how well I clean up.”

“What is it that you do exactly? You have never been straight forward about your job.”

“Nothing important. Nothing that you need be worried about. Just know that I make a living.”

Jisung refrained from glaring at Chan as a couple paid their bill. Now the only people in the bar were Chan and a couple of older men having a heated discussion over a stack of papers.  _ Lawyers _ . Jisung thought. 

“When are you off? I want to have an actual conversation about what’s going on with you.” 

Jisung looked up from wiping down the bar between them. He felt his stomach drop. He didn’t want to talk about himself right now. 

“I get off in an hour but then I head straight to class. My schedule is pretty tight so if you want to run with me you can but I only have five minutes or so free.”

“Bullshit. I know you got kicked from that class, my friend Jae is in it. He said you stopped showing up about a month in. The end of Summer term is almost here and you have been lying about your classes and where you spend your time. We need to talk or you need to drop the act and let Minho go.”

Jisung could feel his throat tighten as Chan called him out. He was right. Jisung had been lying from the moment he moved in with Binnie. He hadn’t forgotten to fill out the dorm application he just didn’t feel like it. The second classes started he realized full time during summer was a mistake. He had to drop one class a week into the term just so he could finish a fraction of the work for the others. After scoring a thirty-two percent on one of his midterms and barely getting sixty percent in his other classes he dropped another. The third class he “dropped” a few weeks ago, choosing to just not show up, too depressed about his lack of ability to keep attending. 

“Hey Jisung, I’m early why don’t you take off so you can get some food before class? I worry about you so don’t fight me on this.” The bar owner skirted her way behind Jisung as she tied her apron. She didn’t even wait for an answer, heading straight to check on the table of lawyers.

“Well, looks like we have time to talk now. Finish what you need to do then join me, I’ll order some food.”

Jisung hated when the owner let him go early. He only worked for two hours a day and while he didn’t need the money he needed time to himself. He gathered his tips and slowly changed in the back, wasting as much time as possible; time he should be using to do his class work.

“The bartender left you this drink and mozzarella sticks. She said she will put in a full food order on the house.” Chan said, sliding Jisung’s drink of choice over.

“Thanks, but I am not too hungry.”

“She said you’d say that and put the order in herself so you don’t have a choice, you have free food. Poor you.”

Jisung looked up at Chan as his tone dropped. He wasn’t happy with Jisung. 

“Come. We are sitting at a table.”

Jisung followed Chan to a small table near the windows and slouched in his chair, staring into the bubble of his gin and tonic.

“So, what the fuck is going on with you?” Chan’s voice was stern and Jisung was scared to look up.

“I am fine. Just busy-”

“How about we don’t bullshit each other and get this conversation over with. I don’t want to have it as much as you, but I also like you and I want to make sure you are okay. Lately, you have been showing me you are not okay.”

Jisung felt his throat tighten again. His eyes stinging with the threat of tears. He tried to figure out what to tell Chan. Him and Minho had talked after finals; after spending an entire weekend locked in Minho’s apartment. They were dating. Jisung was taking summer classes and Minho was back in physical therapy with his old physical therapist, Woojin. Minho was doing so good, he was so happy all the time. The color returned to his now full cheeks and him and Changbin ran together every morning. Seungmin had finally found someone to dote over and Felix and Changbin were happier than ever. Jisung couldn’t ruin that. He couldn’t be the one to bring everyone down with his problems.

“You can talk to me Jisung. I am here to listen to you. Let’s eat first and you can relax a little before talking to me, would that be okay?” Chan reached over and grabbed Jisung’s hand, giving it a quick squeeze. Jisung nodded and sipped his drink as the food was delivered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all aren't too upset but the next part is going to take a hot minute >.<  
> I'm sorry I am just struggling... with Jisung's struggle.


	14. Speak Easy to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung gets some insight on Chan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It. has. been. crazy.
> 
> Been super down lately but in a happy way? I don't know. Emotions man. They are something else. 
> 
> Anyway this is mostly a filler chapter to keep yall fed. 
> 
> I originally based Jisung's struggles off of my own from when I was in University and I haven't quite figured out what those struggles really were so it's hard putting it all out in a fic. But I will get it all sorted don't you worry! Fall is coming up and that is the best season for writing!

Jisung took in a deep breath as he gripped the counter in the bathroom. Chan had started in as soon as the plates were cleared from the table and they both had new drinks. Jisung wasn't used to being questioned so heavily and didn't know how to answer. Chan didn't get annoyed that he didn't have an answer, but would try to rephrase the question. Jisung was starting to get more and more confused and stressed about his own life and wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball under some blankets and stop existing; stop trying to figure out why he was here. He splashed some water on his face, wiping his hand across the back of his neck and taking one last breath before going back out to Chan.

"Do you have everything you'd need to crash somewhere?"

Jisung stopped himself short from sitting, hovering over his seat before standing again. 

"What do you mean?" He asked as Chan stood.

"If I told you to come crash at my house would you have everything you need or would you need to go back to Binnie's?"

Jisung glanced down at his bag by his feet.

"I don't have everything I need, but I don't really care. I'd rather not go back to Binnie's so early."

"Okay. So, you’ll stay at my house tonight? I feel like you could use a change of scenery and my house is really quiet. I know everyone is always at Binnie's place.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You can't tell Minho I let you do this." Jisung’s chest tightened at Chan’s words.

"Why?"

"Because I never let him come over in all the years we were together. He knows where I live but he has never been inside. I don't want him to come around asking questions… it's… you'll understand. Come on."

 

~~~~~

 

Chan lived not too far from the bar in the rich bitch region. Jisung was floored when he walked up to a good 20 story building and waved at a doorman that greeted him by name. 

_“He's a fucking rich bitch.”_ Jisung mumbled.

"My family is rich not me. I mean I am well off. I kind of started my own company a few years back and then sold it to a large corporation, but really that doesn’t mean I have everything. It looks nicer than it is, trust me." Chan explained as he glanced back at Jisung.

They crossed the marble foyer to the bank of elevators. Jisung pulled his bag further up his shoulder as he looked around. He could hear water but could not see where it was coming from. They stepped into an elevator and Chan pushed the button for floor twelve.

"I can see why you wouldn't let Minho come here." Jisung said as the got off the elevator. 

There were floor to ceiling windows with a small seating area to the left of the elevators. You could see the whole city from there. Jisung leaned a little closer and started to get light headed as he looked the twelve stories down to the street below.

"...uh, yeah." Chan walked a short distance to his door pushing his thumb onto a small blue square and punching in a four digit code on a keypad. There was a quiet beep and they were in. 

Jisung's bag slid from his shoulder as he took in the apartment. It was spotless. Cream white granite counters filled the kitchen and an island with metal stools extended out into the large open space. A large dining table covered in papers sat between the kitchen island and a cold looking couch. The same floor to ceiling windows spanned the entire far wall of the apartment. Chan had picked up a remote from the island and clicked a series of buttons. The glass of the windows seemed to brighten as a thin tinted sheet slowly raised up. A sort of curtain Jisung realized. A fire started in a small fireplace across from the couch, no, not a fire, but colorful lights dancing among the painted bricks. There were plants everywhere, sitting in large pots on the floor, on tables, and even hanging from the ceiling. 

“Are you going to actually come in or just stand there?” Chan smiled at him.

Jisung took off his shoes and gingerly let himself step forward onto the cold tile. He walked over to Chan who was looking out the large windows. Jisung's feet sank deep into the plush white carpet of the living room. He wanted to lie down and roll in the carpet it was so soft.

“You can see Binnie’s house from here.” Chan said, pointing out towards the university.

Jisung followed his finger and, sure enough, Binnie’s small apartment complex could be seen. 

“This is so crazy. I can’t believe you’re rich.”

“I am not rich. I am well off. There is a difference.”

“Sorry.” Jisung blushed.

“Come on, I’ll show you around, the full tour.”

Chan gave Jisung a proper tour, walking him back through the kitchen and living room, showing him the bathroom, which had extra toothbrushes for when Hyunjin came over and inevitably forgot his, the laundry room, Chan’s room, and finally the guest room where Jisung would crash. There was a small desk and a queen sized bed fully made and ready to be used. 

“You can order dinner through Jackson, and don't worry about the bill, I got it. There are menus in the draw closest to the fridge. Oh, and Jackson is the guy that was out front by the way. The TV remote can get confusing, but as long as you don’t get it mixed up with the one for the blinds and fireplace you're golden. Any questions?”

“You say all this like you’re not going to be here too.”

“I am not staying. I have work in,” Chan glanced at his watch, “twenty minutes.”

“Oh.” Jisung suddenly felt uncomfortable. He didn’t know he’d be here alone.

_What if he left and got locked out? What if he broke something or someone broke in while he was alone? So many things could go wrong._ Chan looked Jisung over, clearly reading the panic emitting from his body.

“You will be fine. I will let Jackson know you are my friend and to let you back in if you chose to leave. I won’t be back till very late and if I don’t come back, don’t panic, I probably went to Woojin’s house.”

Jisung nodded swallowed around the lump in his throat. He sat on the bed as Chan talked. It was comfy and he knew he would be able to sleep well if he could just not overthink everything.

“Take some time to actually rest. Don’t worry about what you are missing, or what you need to do. Just think about what you want and where you want to be. Work on clearing your head so you can actually function again okay bru? I have to go, but I’ll for sure see you in the morning. Bye!” Chan winked and just like that Jisung was alone. The lock on the door clicking back into place after Chan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will keep writing this fic I promise. Now that I have secluded Jisung in an apartment without any school work or the ablity to get too distracted (did Chan forget to mention the wifi password? oops his bad) we should actually be able to see Jisung work through some things.
> 
> Like always I love you all and I hope you are having some okay days. Leave some comments on what you want to read more of and I will try to provide!


	15. Don't Panic.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How do you tell your boyfriend you have fallen apart. That you are a useless mess that doesn’t deserve the time of day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this came out of nowhere.
> 
> Honestly sat down to take Japanese note and here we are.
> 
> Manual labor gets me to write more and we just started tearing down my fence today. I am so tired yet it is 12:30 am and I up to post this.
> 
> As most of you know by now I don't have a set upload schedule, I post a chapter as soon as it reaches 1,000 or more. I hope this isn't too bothersome.

Jisung sat in silence for a few minutes, the hum of the fridge and a/c the only things that could be heard next to his own breathing. He sighed and slowly took in the room. The guest room was about the same size as his room at Binnie’s. The bed was pushed up against one wall and the small desk sat under a large window. There was a small dresser at the end of the bed he hadn’t noticed before. Curiosity made him stand and go through the drawers. They were empty except the drawer second from the bottom, which had some clothes haphazardly thrown in; a few shirts, a pair of jeans, and a couple of face towels. Jisung closed the drawer and walked around the house. He paused in the living room, glancing from side to side to make sure he really was alone, before laying down in the plush carpet, making little carpet angels. It was the softest carpet he had ever laid on.

After half an hour he was bored out of his mind. He had both remotes in his hands sitting cross legged on the carpet unable to work either properly. 

_ That’s fine, I will just watch youtube videos on my phone.  _

It took Jisung a minute of frustration over the videos not loading before he realized he didn’t have Chan’s wifi password. He texted him, hoping he wasn’t interrupting anything.

Jisung: Hey Chan, When you have a chance what’s the wifi?

Chan: Just call Jackson. He knows it.

 Jisung was startled at the immediate response from him. He glanced at the phone number Chan had written down and left on the kitchen island. He could call Jackson, but it was embarrassing.

_ What would I say? _ ‘ _ Hey dude, I can’t figure out these remotes can you turn the tv on for me and give me the wifi password? Sweet, thanks!’ yeah, I don’t think so. _

Jisung sighed and stared out of the window. He wasn’t used to seeing the city from so far up. It made him dizzy to stand near the window and he couldn’t imagine how Minho would be in this apartment. He was so scared of heights he would probably pass out or throw up or both.

_ Minho. _

Guilt took over Jisung in waves. He hadn’t really talked to Minho for days. They usually exchanged small talk before Jisung made some excuse to be alone to work on assignments or a paper or get some sleep. Minho spent most nights with him when he could, but Jisung rarely slept over at Minho’s anymore. He claimed that classes got more intense after midterms and having to gather everything from Binnie’s just so he could sleep at Minho’s was extra stress. 

Jisung squeezed his eyes shut as his stomach turned. He pushed himself off the ground and went to his room for the night, throwing himself on the bed face first. He was a horrible boyfriend. He hadn’t talked to Minho about anything, just kept pushing him away. He took a deep breath and groaned loudly into the pillow before turning over and staring at the ceiling. The sun was starting to go down but the room stayed bright. 

_ I need to talk to Minho. But how.  _

“How do you tell your boyfriend you have fallen apart. That you are a useless mess that doesn’t deserve the time of day.” He muttered, raking his hands through his hair as he glared at the ceiling. 

“This is shit. This whole summer is shit. Fuck this. Fuck this school, fuck these feelings, fuck this life. Fuck. Me.” He spat at the air.

He took a deep breath and all the strength he had left him. 

“Minho doesn’t deserve this.”

As if on cue his phone dinged. Jisung rolled to the edge to pick it up off the ground where it had dropped.   


Seungmin: You going to be back for dinner? Or are you eating out again?

Jisung: I am staying over at Minho’s so no dinner.

Seungmin: ...okay. Have a good night Sungie <3

Jisung: you too! :]

Jisung set his phone on the edge of the desk and not a second after he pulled his hand away it was ringing. Minho was calling him.

“Hey love, what’s up?”

“You know I am at Binnie’s right now.”

Jisung’s throat tightened. He had texted Suengmin the first thing that came to his head without thinking. Of course Minho was at Binnie’s. Of course, that excuse won't fly.

“If you need time away I get it, this house is crazy but… why are you lying about where you are? Should I- I mean, are we okay?”

Jisung could hear the worry in Minho’s voice. He hated that he had put him in this spot. He hated that Minho sounded so scared and unsure. 

“We are okay. I just- I have- I’m…”

“Are you alone?”

“Yes. Minho I would never.” Jisung’s voice became serious at the question. He would never cheat on Minho, never go behind his back with anyone else.

“I would never do that to you Minho. I love you. You know that right?”

“Yeah. You have just been acting really distant so I get worried I’m doing something to push you away.”

Jisung’s heart ached. Minho deserved so much better than what Jisung was giving him. 

“I’m just figuring something out. Figuring life out I guess. But it’s nothing about our relationship. I- it’s me I- I don’t know…”

“I understand.” There was a short pause. Jisung could sense Minho pulling himself closer to the phone. “Is it about university?"

“Yes and no. I’m overwhelmed Minho. I don’t know what I am doing. I don’t feel like I am doing the right thing. The more I try to focus the more I feel like I am letting you down, and then the more I feel like you deserve anyone else but me by your side. I have been nothing but difficult since summer began and I hate that I have been pushing you away, and lying to you, and keeping things from everyone, and I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know how to make it through this summer and I don’t know if I can keep up college, but I don’t know what to do if I am not in classes, Minho, school is all I know. I don’t know what I am doing. I am so scared I am messing everything up but I don’t know how to stop.”

The sun had finally dropped below the horizon and his room was dark. Jisung had started to cry as the words fell from his mouth unable to hold them back, not knowing what he was saying himself. He could hear Minho on the other side of the phone quiet. He must be outside, because Jisung couldn’t hear the normal sounds of the house, the constant noise of kids enjoying the summer replaced with steady footsteps and the hum of cicadas.

“Jisung breath. You aren’t letting anyone down. No one knows what it is they are doing with their lives yet. Except Seungmin. But does he even count? I mean he’s like a huge outlier in this whole life path knowledge thing. Jisung, I still don’t know what I am doing. The important thing is that I have people around me that understand and are willing to struggle with me, lift me up when I need it and trip me up when I get too cocky. We are all here for you. If you need time off no one is going to blame you for it. I’ll be right next to you until you find what it is that sparks life in you. Then I will stand next to you as you pursue it, and when you achieve it, whatever it may be. I love you Han Jisung. Don’t put yourself down because you are lost. We have all been there. Hell I lived there.” Minho chuckled.

“Thank you.” Jisung whispered.

“Do you really want to be alone tonight? Can I come to you? Tell me where you are.”

Jisung thought for a long time before answering.

“No. I am safe. I am alone and I think it’s best I get some time to work things out on my own in some much needed silence, ha.” Jisung’s tears started to slow, drying his cheeks with the collar of his shirt. 

“Are you upset I won’t tell you where I am?” He whispered.

“Honestly, I'm a little frustrated I don’t know. But from the sounds of it, it’s not the only thing I don’t know about you. All in good time though. I trust you. You’ll tell me everything when you are ready.”

“What if I am never ready?”

“Well, then I will have to torture it out of you and if that doesn’t work Chan has a way of getting information”

Minho didn’t pause and his voice was stern and serious; no hint of humor in his tone. Jisung’s heart stopped, his eyes widening in the dark of his room.

“I’m just fucking with you. God, you are so easy.” Minho laughed, but Jisung felt uneasy being in Chan’s apartment thinking of Chan walking in and grilling him just like he did in the bar, except this time they would be alone. Alone in the dark. He quickly shook the thought from his head as Minho kept talking about how gullible Jisung was and how Chan was not that kind of person and Jisung should never be afraid of him.

They hung up after talking nonsense, the whether, Binnie’s house drama, updates on Soonie and Doongie. Jisung felt his stomach relax slightly before twisting again at the thought of actually telling Minho everything. He was still so behind….  _ No.  _ He thought,  _ focus on what you want. Think Jisung. _

He lay back on the bed and put his phone back on the desk. Racking his head for what he should do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am thinking the angst is going to die off pretty quickly now but who really knows.
> 
> As I said before I post as I write. What I post could be a few days old or a few minutes. Ever since chapter... 5? (OMG I'M AT CH15 HOW!?!) I have been posting same day. As in, I write for a few hours, then edit in the original document before editing it on AO3, then post it. There are small things I noticed missing or incorrect due to the rushed edits, but I try my best to keep it as clean as possible. 
> 
>  
> 
> With Fall being my favorite season and approaching fast, expect more from me, not only with this fic but new ones as well. I have a good start on a non romantic, friendship goals, fic and a few others that just need a little time and love given to them. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos I Love you all! It really is something special that people read what I write and actually enjoy it! I never thought I could post something I wrote online but here we are and I couldn't be more happy! 
> 
> Thank you all your comments mean the world to me! <3<3<3<3


	16. Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He tried shaking off the weird feeling of how out of place he was and sat down to dig in. He had forgotten to get dinner last night, too consumed in his thoughts, so he was starving and these pancakes were just what he needed. He glanced up to watch Hyunjin wiggling around to the soft music making happy little noises. 
> 
> “You are always happy. I envy you.”
> 
> The words were out without Jisung realizing he was speaking. His hands stopped moving as he looked down at his half empty plate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not really happy with this chapter, but I didn't want to leave it another day in fear I would hold onto it for a whole month. So, here you go!

Jisung woke up to soft piano music and the sound of someone cooking in the kitchen. He looked down at his sheets. Chan must have checked on him when he got back because he was under the covers and the curtains were closed. He got out of bed and opened his door, stepping out into the bright hall.

“Morning!” Chan called as he walked down the hall towards Jisung. He was completely naked, arms up towel drying his hair. Jisung’s squeaked, eyes wide before he lunged backward onto the floor of his room, slamming his eyes shut; the image of Chan seared into his retinas.

“Sorry, force of habit walking around after a shower.” Chan said as he casually passed the room, headed for his own.

“It’s your house, do what you want.” Jisung called after, eyes pressed against the back of his hands, his fingers digging into the carpet.

He got up only after he heard the door to Chan’s room close. He found Hyunjin in the kitchen, thankfully fully clothed with an added layer in the form of an apron, his name stitched neatly on the front. He was cooking pancakes, the batter strung in lines across the counter between the bowl and the pan.

“Smells good.”

“Morning Sungie! I have some ready for you, here.” Hyunjin set a stack of pancakes on a plate and slid it over to Jisung with some butter and syrup.

Before Jisung could sit down Hyunjin had made his way around the island to give him a hug. Jisung tensed under the touch, not quite ready for the early morning contact after seeing Chan, no matter how brief.

“Thanks.” 

He tried shaking off the weird feeling of how out of place he was and sat down to dig in. He had forgotten to get dinner last night, too consumed in his thoughts, so he was starving and these pancakes were just what he needed. He glanced up to watch Hyunjin wiggling around to the soft music making happy little noises. 

“You are always happy. I envy you.”

The words were out without Jisung realizing he was speaking. His hands stopped moving as he looked down at his half empty plate.

“Of course. I have no reason not to be. You'll find your happiness one day." Hyunjin turned and grabbed Jisung's hand. "I know right now it might seem impossible, but it will happen and when it does, just know that you deserve it. All of it.” He said easily, giving Jisung one more squeeze before turning back to the stove. 

Jisung felt himself resenting Hyunjin the more he watched him. He wished he could believe that what he said was true, but something in his life always seemed to be off, like he was standing two steps to the left of his intended path. Hyunjin clicked the stove off and pulled the pan to the side of the burner. He turned and set down another small stack of pancakes on an empty plate. He sat down next to Jisung and set in to first drown the pancakes in syrup then quickly devour them. They both ate in silence, their arms brushing against each other. Jisung constantly tensed his shoulders and tucked his elbows to avoid jostling the other boy. It was weird that he sat so close when the island could easily fit five people side by side without touching. It was exhausting for Jisung, he had to refrain from physically recoiling from the other. He didn’t want to seem rude. Hyunjin finished in record time and cleared the table, putting all the dishes in the sink.

“I’ll wash those-”

“Nope! Chan’s job. It’s in the contract.” Hyunjin cut him off. Jisungs brow wrinkled in confusion 

“What?”

“Our love contract. I cook, he does all the dishes. Within reason of course. I have made some insane messes in the kitchen and had to help clean up after. One night I got up to make brownies, then halfway through decided I wanted cupcakes and oatmeal cookies and Chan woke up to everything dirty. Literally, everything. I had to get up to help do the dishes at five am before he went to work. That was the worst!”

Hyunjin said all of this while dramatically grabbing onto Jisung, who had given up trying to understand anything this early in the morning. It was weird to Jisung, having this much physical contact with someone he barely knew. If made him realize how long it had been since him and Minho really touched each other; a hand on the shoulder, a quick side hug, they barely held hands anymore. Jisung missed it all. He slowly started to welcome the extra touches, feeling the tension he had been holding melt. Hyunjin leaned in and hugged Jisung close and he focused on not being a ball of tension in his arms and instead hugged him back.

“You are doing wonderful sweetie. Please know when to take care of yourself and please always feel free to come to me if you need anything. And speaking of things you need, you can borrow some of the clothes I left in the guest room if you’d like. You kind of smell like a bar.” Hyunjin laughed as he released Jisung and skipped, yes skipped, down the hall to Chan’s room. 

Jisung took a deep breath, the short breakfast felt like a marathon. He lifted the collar of his shirt to his nose. He did smell slightly of liquor. He walked over to the sink to sneakily do the dishes before giving up when he couldn’t find a sponge or dish soap. He made his way back to the room and grabbed some of the clothes from the drawer.

After he changed, Jisung gathered his things and gave his thanks to Chan, who had magically found soap and a sponge and was working through the dishes. He waved to Hyunjin, who was sprawled on the carpet in the living room and walked to the elevators. Jackson opened the door for him as he left the building and he bowed in thanks before starting the long walk to Binnie’s. It was no later than seven am, the crispness of the night air still lingered. Everyone who worked that morning was scrambling about and Jisung decided he should stop by Clairece’s on the way home to visit Trixie. Club activities were always on hold for summer term, as most students went home, so he hadn’t been in the cafe in a long time. 

 

~~~~~

 

Clairece was behind the front desk with a cup of tea and the morning paper when he arrived. She got up and wrapped Jisung in the warmest hug and again Jisung felt some bottled up stress leave him. 

“I’ve missed you so much! How have you been sweetie?”

“I’m okay.”

Clairece pulled back to look Jisung over. 

“Okay, What’s your poison, earl grey or lemon ginger?”

Jisung found himself set down on the stool next to Clairece with a cup of tea talking about anything and everything; how him and Minho were together, his living situation, and his classes. She never gave advice unless she felt it was needed and listened to every word Jisung said. 

“...I just don’t know what I am doing anymore.” Jisung finished with a sigh.

“Well, it sounds like you should quit. Drop out and get a real job and work to make an honest living. Get a job you know you will hate, be a dishwasher, work a hotel, change sheets for a few months. The more you hate the job, the easier it will be to pinpoint what it is you want to do. If you get a job you are comfortable with then you will never leave, you’re comfortable so why move on, but a job you hate? You will be thinking of all the things you want to do besides what you are currently doing. That’s when you will realize what it is that you want to actually do. Now, there may be false alarms, you might think you want to be some pop star raping and dancing about, but in the end you will find yourself on a path that you love with a goal that you can happily work towards. Just remember it’s okay to be lost honey. Not everyone was meant to have only one path in life.”

Jisung quietly listened to Clairece. He looked down at his now empty cup and sighed for the thousandth time. Just being back in the cafe was enough to ease his mind and the added comfort from Clairece's presence and words helped calm him enough that he knew what he had to do. He wasn’t sure on the details, but he knew he would figure it out and he knew he wouldn’t be alone. 

“Thank you Clairece.”

Anytime Jisung. Now, no matter if you are in school or not, I expect you back here in a few weeks, that is if you choose to return to this rundown establishment.”

“I could never leave you Clairece.” Jisung laughed.

“Good, good, ‘cause I was going to have to threaten you and give you horrible recommendations for your next job if you ever left me.” She said, settling back in with her crossword.

Jisung wasn’t sure if she was joking or not, but he took the cue that the conversation was over and moved into the back of the shop to say hello to his favorite resident. Trixie was in her usual spot, a cat tower in the back top corner of the shop. She mewed at Jisung as he cooed at her, swiping at his outstretched hand as he reached in to pet her. Clearly she was upset by his recent absence. 

“Yeah, can’t blame you for being upset with me.” Jisung muttered. 

It didn’t take long for Trixie to let Jisung grab her and walk her to their spot in the back. She protested the entire way, but no claws were extended. The familiar weight of the cat on his lap calmed Jisung and helped clear his head. He slowly pet her as he thought out a plan of action. Opening a blank note on his phone, he started to make a checklist of what he needed to do and who he needed to call. His fingers shook as he dialed the first number. The phone rang only once before someone on the other side answered and he cleared his throat, putting his plan into action.

“Hello, this is Han Jisung….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy times are a coming!! I am beyond excited to get to writing this next part.  
> Ooooooooo yall have no idea!  
> Life is spiraling out of control but in a happy way!!


	17. I've Missed You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of kisses from someone you love helps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little short but I have been rewriting it for... well since September 20th and I need to let it be.
> 
> This doesn't clear anything up really but Minho and Jisung get to be cute? Yaaaay?

An hour later Jisung left the cafe and was standing in front of Minho’s door. He took a deep breath, running through all the things he needed to say and how he was going to say them, before quietly letting himself in. Minho was still asleep. He was laying face down with Soonie tucked under his armpit and Doongie at his feet slightly covered by the sheets tangled around Minho's legs. Jisung smiled at the sight. He kicked his shoes off and walked over, crawling onto the bed and curling up as close as he could to Minho without waking him. After a minute or two Minho turned and pulled Jisung closer, nuzzling his head onto Jisung’s chest. Jisung wrapped his arm around Minho’s waist and fell asleep easily.

 

~~~~~

 

All the confidence Jisung had before the nap had left him. When he finally woke up he was alone in bed. Minho was in the kitchen chugging a glass of water, clearly just returning from a run. Jisung laid still for a bit just watching him. He didn't know where to start, what words were the right words for this kind of situation. He also didn't trust that he wouldn't cry when trying to talk, so instead of saying anything he got up and crossed the short space between him and Minho. Minho turned around as he heard him get up. Jisung walked straight into his chest and wrapped his arms around him, holding on as tight as he could. 

"Jisung I'm all gross and sweaty." Minho let out a breathy laugh as he set down his glass to pat Jisung's back. Jisung just held on tighter, hooking his chin over Minho's shoulder. Minho sighed and held him back as tight as he could, running his fingers through Jisung's hair. 

"Are you going to do laundry? Can I toss my clothes in with yours?" Jisung asked. He needed a distraction so he could build his confidence back up to really talk to Minho about what he was going through. 

"Of course. I’m also going to take a shower and then I can make food, I don't know about you but I haven't eaten yet."

"Okay, I am going to join you in that shower too, hugging you when you were all sweaty was kind of gross." 

Jisung pushed away from the hug as Minho laughed, his arms locked behind Jisung's back before pulling him back to his chest. Jisung felt Minho's hand reach up to brush his cheek as he gently kissed him. 

"I've missed this." Minho said.

"Me too." 

"I also can't believe you ate Hyunjin's pancakes without me but I still love you." Minho smiled.

Jisung froze.

"How did you-"

"You are wearing one of his favorite shirts, you taste of pancakes, and you have dried syrup on your cheek. They are good huh?"

".. yeah. I'm sorry."

"Is that where you were last night? You were with Chan and Hyunjin?"

"I was alone all night, but yes, I was at their house."

Minho released Jisung and sighed. He headed for the bathroom and Jisung could hear him putting clothes in the washer. He immediately felt cold. The distance between them seem bigger than normal.

"Jisung my love, are you going to give me those clothes to wash or are you planing to shower with them on?" Minho yelled.

Jisung smiled to himself. _Minho is just sad he didn't have the pancakes, stop overthinking_. He quickly grabbed his clothes from his bag and handed them to Minho before stripping out of Hyunjin's clothes and handing them over as well. 

 

~~~~~

 

After the shower, Jisung felt better. They hadn't talked about anything serious while in there; Minho assured him he wasn't mad that he didn't just say he was at Chan's last night and then they talked about the other boys and Jisung told him about visiting Trixie at the cafe. 

It wasn't until they were sat down with food that Jisung felt ready. The small talk had tapered off and there was a short silence before Jisung spoke up and told Minho everything. How he had been so happy at the start of summer but how he was slowly realizing he didn't like the classes or path he was taking. How he couldn't keep up and had to drop. How he was so embarrassed about it he didn't tell anyone. How he had taken on a secret job to toss some extra cash to Binnie. How he stressed about Binnie asking him where the money came from so he never got around to giving it to him; instead saving it to possibly fund leaving. Jisung felt the most regret from that, from even considering leaving everyone without saying anything. He just didn't know how to handle things and he felt so alone. 

"Sungie, why did you feel that you couldn't talk to me, or even Seungmin?"

"You were just getting back to your healthy self and Seungmin just found his happiness I wasn't about to ruin that with my problems."

"Oh Sungie", Minho pulled Jisung into a hug, rubbing his back as Jisung started to cry.

"I'm sorry I caused you trouble. You don't deserve to be treated like I have been treating you."

"No Sungie, look at me", Minho pulled back and grabbed Jisung's chin, "never apologize for living. That's all you are doing. Remember what you told me when I was in this place? When I was apologizing to you about bothering you with my problems?"

Jisung thought back but shook his head no, he couldn't remember. Minho smiled.

"You said 'bother me anytime, it's nice to have some variety in life'." 

Jisung felt his whole face turn red as he remembered the morning after comforting Minho. Minho had knocked at his door at an ungodly hour and Jisung had yelled at him before apologizing and saying those stupid words.

"You are never going to let me live that down are you?"

"You basically agreed that I was a bother to you but that you liked it so no, I will bring it up anytime I see fit." Minho leaned forward and softly kissed Jisung. 

"You are a bother." Jisung mumbled.

"Yeah and I fell in love with a bother so there."

Jisung laughed and kissed Minho.

"So, Jisung my love. What now? What are your plans"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said reveals nothing. But they be cute! 
> 
> For those wondering I, like may others, will be keeping Woojin in my stories, past and future, because he will always be a Stray Kid and a god in my heart. 
> 
> More updates for this story to come at some point. Sorry I am writing this all at random. Life is nuts. I am in the thick of it with my home renovations, my work moving buildings, visiting friends and family and trying to survive the holiday stress. Stay safe out there everyone. 
> 
> I love every comment and kudos that gets left. I read them all and I might not have to best response time but it's only because I am trying to think of what to say, funny enough I'm not the best with words >_<


	18. You Are My Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not athletic enough to run away and too gullible to live on my own so...“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a minute. My bad! My work moved offices in the messiest manner possible. Try answering emails with no internet >.< It's been a struggle my dudes.
> 
> ANYWAY! SKZ comeback is going to actually kill me so here is some closure on the whole Jisung thing before I die.<3

“I’m quitting, all of it.”

There was a short silence before the room erupted in questions and yelling boys. After talking it out with Minho, Jisung gathered everyone on Binnie’s couch to make his announcements and get everything out in the open. Minho sat in the recliner closest to Jisung. He had offered to stand with him, to hold his hand, but Jisung wanted to do this on his own. Woojin was silent as he smiled at Jisung, a calm face amongst the yelling kids next to him. Chan was lecturing about how Jisung need to keep up with it just take on less. Seungmin was telling him about his career path and that if he came to his classes with him he might like it as well. Binnie was telling him to be a man and kept asking if Jisung’s parents knew what he was up to and Felix, Felix looked worried, very worried. 

“You aren’t leaving us are you?” Felix whispered.

Everyone stopped and looked at Felix then to Minho who looked down to hide his puffy eyes. Jisung had made him cry when he told him about his thoughts of leaving. The idea of leaving any of them behind had made them both cry. Looking at Minho he could understand why Felix would think that Jisung was going to go away. 

“No. Oh, Lix no, I wouldn’t leave you. Yes, I thought about leaving everything but not because of any of you. I felt that I needed to step away so everyone could continue being happy. The thought of not seeing you all… I can’t do this without you. I would probably be dead if it wasn’t for Seungmin constantly taking care of me. 

“Ain’t that the truth.” Seungmin said, crossing his arms and leaning back.

“And yes Binnie, my parents know. They were the first call I made well, second, the first call I made was to the school to let them know I was dropping the rest of my summer classes and taking a year off.”

“So you and Minnie aren’t breaking up?” Felix asked.

“Hell no!” Jisung and Minho yelled at the same time.

“He couldn’t get rid of me even if he wanted to.” Minho laughed. He reached out and took Jisung's hand in his.

“I’m not athletic enough to run away and too gullible to live on my own so... “ Jisung laughed, “and I love him too much to ever let him go. He’ll have to put up with me for a long time.”

“Besides, we are starting a family soon.” Minho said with a smile as he reached down to rub his belly.

Jisung’s eyes nearly popped out of his head and his jaw dropped as he stared at Minho's hand making small circles on his abdomen before he realized his stupidity.

“Wait, you-”

“You are so easy Han Jisung.” Woojin cackled from his chair as everyone laughed. 

“How have you lived this long?!” Jeongin yelled.

Felix got up and wrapped his tiny arms around Jisung, holding him tight. Jisung tried his best not to cry. He loved his friends so much, how could he ever think about leaving them.

“So, what are you going to do then?” Jeongin asked as everyone calmed down a bit.

“That’s where you guys come in. I have no idea. I already called the school and my parents, but I haven’t figured things out past that. Honestly, I am really scared, I don’t know how I am standing up right now." Jisung said as he started shaking.

“We got you Sungie!” Hyunjin yelled jumping up to hug both Felix and Jisung. The others quickly followed.

“Let’s work this out together.”

“You have plenty of time so don’t worry so much.”

They all hugged Jisung, their voices lingering in the air around him.

“You could work with me at the restaurant.” Jeongin offered as everyone broke apart and went back to their spots; Minho pulled Jisung into his lap.

“You could work with Woojin as an assistant.” Minho said, looking to the other to see him nodding in approval.

“You could always work with Chan but the hours are weird and it is hard work, like really hard.” Hyunjin laughed and Chan smothered him with a pillow.

“What do you do Chan?”

“It’s not something Jisung could do.”

Everyone looked at each other before turning their full attention to Chan.

“Seriously, what do you do for work?” Woojin asked.

Heads snapped to look at Woojin.

“How do you not know, you guys are dating!?” Binnie yelled.

“To be fair I only found out because I am a snoop and wanted to surprise him at work in a cute outfit.” Hyunjin said looking down at his phone. 

Chan had got up to go to the kitchen and was slowly working his way towards the front door as everyone started asking Hyunjin questions. Minho shifted out from under Jisung to stop Chan from leaving.

“Why are you embarrassed of your odd jobs?” Minho asked Chan.

“It’s just.... They aren’t the most facile businesses…”

“Chan, you built an entire company. You still own a good percentage of it. Limo driving and fish sorting are basically hobbies. I agree Jisung can’t sort fish, most of the fish would be bigger than him, but he could drive with you yeah?”

“I know it's just... I'm not ready to answer those questions.... Besides does Jisung even have his license?”

“...Good point.”

“Hey! What are you two talking about? Chan, tell us what you do!”

“All right, all right, it doesn’t matter, I need to take a break for a few days before I start thinking about this in full I just wanted you guys to know where I was with my life and help me keep an eye out for different options.” Jisung said waving his hands around. He had been watching Chan and Minho talk and knew that Chan wasn’t comfortable with sharing his working side with everyone, not yet. He smiled up at Chan who smiled back at him.

"And more important than my near future is what we are having for dinner because I am starving." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome!
> 
> I will see you all on the other side of Levanter! Much love <3


End file.
